你經歷的磨難，最終都會使你更強大

01-29

有沒有那麼一句話, 就那樣成為了你的一生的信仰？當我的同事告訴我這個問題的時候，我立刻就想到了，Whatever doesn』t kill you makes you stronger. (沒有殺死你的，只會讓你更強。)和大多數人不同的是，我並不是從Kelly Clarkson的歌中了解到這句話的。我第一次聽到這句話是在久以前，從一位影響我一生的人那兒聽到的。雖然聽上去可能會有點兒媽寶。我確實是從我媽那兒第一次聽到這句話。

情竇初開的年少時光

26歲的時候，我愛上了一個人，甚至可以說是為愛痴狂。當時我並沒有什麼雄心壯志，也沒有什麼職業目標，把時間和經歷都花在了談戀愛上。我沒有想過去改變世界，我覺得跟她在一起就很開心，心滿意足地當著她的男朋友。當時，戀愛就是我的一切。

（沒有互聯網的年代，分居香港和美國兩地的我們只能用郵件溝通）

可是突然間，一切都結束了。那時我們住在洛杉磯，她遇到一個去香港工作的機會。我看出來她很激動很想去，所以我表示了支持。我當時太天真了，我告訴她我們的愛情可以跨越距離，足以應對分居兩地帶來的挑戰。我真的是太天真了。

她搬去香港三個月後愛上了別人，跟我分手了。我的心都快碎了，從此一蹶不振。大腦無法運轉，整個人都像失了魂一樣。

心碎、失落與無助

我媽媽當時也住在洛杉磯，有一天晚上，我待在她住的地方。雖然一眼就看出了我很難過，但是她並不善於處理戀愛的問題，也不知道該給我說些什麼。她也曾因為婚姻破碎而受過傷，但是卻從來沒有意志消沉過。她沒有沉浸在悲傷中，而是走了出來。

所以，看到我縮在沙發上暗自神傷盯著空氣發獃的時候，她直接走過來對我說：「聽著，沒有殺死你的，只會讓你更強。你早晚要想辦法度過這段時光，而且要成為更好的人。我不知道你具體應該怎麼做，我也不知道你什麼時候才能做到。但是我可以保證，這一天早晚會來的。」

聽到這段話的時候，我心裡想：「開玩笑嗎？這就是你的建議？我剛剛被人傷害過，自己的心被人從胸膛里硬扯了出來，現在的這些感覺說不定還真能殺死我。」

但是，當時我孤立無援，沒人能改變我的處境，於是我決定相信她的話。我強迫自己相信事情會有所好轉，我告訴自己我要在這次心碎之後成長為更強大、更優秀的人。當然，兩年年之後，我才真正開始覺得自己成長了。不過，我最後的確成長了。我想辦法努力擺脫了絕望無助的情緒，有了前所未有的勇氣和自信。經過這次不可思議的轉變之後，我知道既然我可以走出這次陰影，那世界上沒有什麼是我做不到的了。如果你想有所成就的話，一定要堅定這種想法，要相信自己

建立我的商業「帝國」

這句話第二次對我產生幫助是在我建立王李亞洲資源公司的初期，當時我們剛開設了北京處辦公室。在五年的時間裡，我建立了五家分公司，其他幾家分別在台北、香港、上海和洛杉磯。公司越辦越好，我的商業帝國之夢成為了現實，我感覺自己站在了世界的頂端。

（當時北京的第五個辦公室）

（我的商業帝國的建立，也是落日的餘暉 ）

但是好景不長。再一次，情況在一夜之間急轉直下。網路泡沫破碎，我們公司的商業活動大受影響，盈利也是。我花了三個月的時間分析了公司的儲備基金，第四個月的時候，我決定關掉洛杉磯的辦公室。之後，我又不得已關閉了台北、上海和香港這三家分公司。

一覺回到解放前

五年的心血在短短几個月里付諸東流。我又一次地陷入絕望，感覺自己徹底失敗了，是個loser。我沒法面對自己，連起床都很困難。

後來有一天，在跟媽媽打電話的時候，我又聽到了那句話——「沒有殺死你的，只會讓你更強」。她說：「我不是商人，我不知道你的公司為什麼會垮掉。但是當這一切過去的時候，是的，這些都會過去，你會從中吸取經驗，成為更好的CEO，成為一名更優秀的商人。」

再一次，在我一無所有的時候，這句話成了我的救命稻草。我選擇接受自己的錯誤和失敗，不再逃避。這的確是十分昂貴的一課，但是我想確保自己真的從錯誤中吸取了教訓。在那之後的兩年里，我勉強支撐著公司的運行。很多時候，我付不起房租，也沒錢給員工們按時發工資。我到處借錢維持基本運轉，那是一段讓我抬不起頭的時光。

不過，最後市場開始好轉，公司也開始走上坡路。我擴建了之前的北京分部；一年後，我重新開設了上海辦公室；三年後，公司在一年一度的中國人力資源管理獎中榮獲「中國年度獵頭公司 」的稱號。那天晚上，很多同事都很驕傲，甚至流出了喜悅的眼淚。

精誠所至，金石為開

現在，在我看到有人身陷困境，感到失望、迷茫或沮喪時，我就會告訴他這句拯救了我很多次的話——「沒有殺死你的，只會讓你更強」。這是我能提供的最靠譜也是最真誠的建議了。如今，有一首榜單熱歌的名字就是這句話。但是，我對這句話的第一印象來自於很多年前，來自於我的母親。這句話已經陪我度過了大半生。

這句話可能有著哲學意義，可能告訴了你所有事情都是事出有因，可能幫你在消極的環境中找到了曙光。不論如何，這句話讓我受益良多。在最灰暗的那段時光里，你需要一些東西支撐自己走下去。你要想辦法留住希望，相信你經歷的一切會讓你變得更強，更成功。你所需要做的就是找到自己需要改進的地方，找到能讓自己成長的東西。這樣，你會慢慢成長會一個強大、一個真正自信的人。

你呢？有沒有那麼一句話成為了你一生的信仰？如果有，你從哪兒聽到的，它又是如何影響你的人生的？希望你能跟我們分享你的故事！

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

點擊鏈接訪問職商網：http://www.zhishangwang.com

更多職業發展的精彩內容和專業知識，遠見和建議，請關註：

我的個人微信公眾號：Larry聊職商(LarryWangABC)

順便，我的知乎Live可以幫助你更好的提高你的職場意識和英文！

三場單次知乎Live：

如何有效地用英語與外國人溝通？

如何拿下重要的「英文面試」？

職場之路快速晉陞指南

知乎系列Live：職場英文溝通，這樣最有效：知乎 Live - 全新的實時問答

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Sentence That Has Become My Core Belief In Life

Is there a sentence you』ve come across over the years that has become your core belief in life? When a colleague first presented this question to me, the sentence that immediately came to mind for me is, Whatever doesn』t kill you makes you stronger. No, I didn』t learn this line from listening to Kelly Clarkson』s hit song. I first heard it many years ago from someone who has been the source of many things that I』ve come to embrace over the years. At the risk of sounding like a momma』s boy, once again, it was from my mom.

The romance and innocence of youth

I was about 26 years old and in love with a woman that I was crazy about. I wasn』t ambitious or career-oriented then, so most of my attention and energy went into our relationship. I had no desire to change the world someday. Instead, I was content to be an awesome boyfriend to an amazing woman. Our relationship was my identity.

And then suddenly, it ended. We were living in Los Angeles and a chance appeared for her to move to and work in Hong Kong. I could tell this was an opportunity she was very excited about, so I encouraged her to take it. I was idealistic. I told her that our love would overcome the distance and challenges of being apart. I was so naive.

Three months after she moved to Hong Kong, she met someone else and we broke up. I was heartbroken. Devastated. I was so depressed I was barely able to function.

Broken, depressed, and hopeless

My mom also lived in LA, and I was at her place one evening. It was obvious to her

that I was in pain, but she wasn』t really the type who gave relationship advice. She had experienced her own heartache from a failed marriage, but wasn』t someone who ever felt sorry for herself. She didn』t dwell on her misfortunes.She just overcame them.

So after watching me sit on the sofa motionless and in a puddle of my own self-pity, staring blankly into space, she just walked up and said to me, 「Listen, whatever doesn』t kill you makes you stronger. You』re going to somehow survive this and come out better from it. I don』t know how, and I don』t know when. But I can promise you that this is what will happen.」

When I heard her say this, I remember thinking, 「Really? That』s your advice to me? Because I just had my heart ripped out from my chest. So the way I feel now, this may very well kill me.」

With nothing else to hold on to or change my situation, however, I decided to embrace her words. I forced myself to believe that somehow things were going to turn out well for me. I told myself that somehow I was going to become a stronger, better person from my heartbreak. It took two years, but eventually, I started to feel this way. I tried to find something to pick myself up every day and managed to rise out of the feeling of feeling completely hopeless and defeated. I developed a courage and confidence in myself that I never had before. After surviving the unimaginable, I knew that if I could overcome this then I could overcome anything. That』s a valuable thing to believe about yourself if you want to do something exceptional with your life

Building my business empire

The second time that these words saved me was during the early years of building my company, Wang & Li Asia Resources. We had just opened our Beijing office. Even though it was only our fifth year, this was our fifth office, with other offices already in Taipei, Hong Kong, Shanghai, and San Francisco. Our business was growing and doing very well. My empire was becoming a reality. I was on top of the world!

It didn』t last long. Once again, everything changed suddenly and dramatically. The Internet bubble burst and our business activity came to a sudden halt. So did our revenues. Within three months, I went through all of our reserve cash. The next month, I had to close our San Francisco office. Soon after that, I had to close our Taipei, then Shanghai, then Hong Kong offices.

Failing fast and falling hard

What had taken me five years to build came crashing down in just a few months. Again, I was devastated. I felt like a complete failure. A loser. I could hardly face myself and struggled to even get out of bed on most days.

And then, during a call with my mom one day, those words came from her again, whatever doesn』t kill you makes you stronger. 「I』m not a business person,」 she said. 「So I can』t tell you why your company has collapsed. But when you get through this, which you will, you』re going to learn from your mistakes and become a better CEO and businessman.」

Again,with nothing else to hang on to, I clung to these words. Instead of denying my

mistakes and failure, I embraced them. The lessons were very costly, but I wanted to make sure that I learned them. For two years, my company continued to barely survive. Most months, I couldn』t pay our rent or staff salaries on time. I borrowed money to keep going. It was extremely ugly and humbling.

But finally, the market began to pick up again. With it, our business began picking up again. I grew our remaining Beijing office. After a year, I re-opened our Shanghai office. Three years later, our company was recognized at the annual China Staff Human Resources Awards as China』s Recruitment Firm of the Year. Many of our colleagues cried with joy and pride that night.

Fighting through and emerging from tough times

These days, whenever I see someone going through a very difficult time, or feeling very disappointed, lost, or depressed, I say the same thing to them that helped me get through the most difficult times in my life. Whatever doesn』t kill you makes you stronger. It』s the most genuine encouragement I can offer them. It』s a belief that I』ve lived by for most of my adult life.

Whether it』s being philosophical and convincing yourself that everything happens for a reason, or helping you to find something positive out of the huge negative that you』re going through, I』ve found these words to hold true. In your worst times, you need to somehow hang on. You need to somehow maintain hope and believe that even the worst things you experience make you a stronger, more successful person in life. You just need to search for those things that you』re supposed to learn and grow from. That』s how you become a strong and truly confident person someday.

How about you? Is there a sentence that stands out to you that has become your core belief in life? If so, how did it first come to you, and how has it influenced your own life? Please share it with us!