如何評價《江城》？

01-28

美國人寫的涪陵，不知道各位這本書評價如何

讀完全書，《江城》一書的最大的特色在於，何偉是以一個局外人或者外來者的身份來觀察中國的，這一點在書中也不斷地被提起。

1.《江城》其書與何偉其人

《江城》，是前《New Yorker》駐北京記者何偉（彼得·海斯勒）著名的「中國三部曲」的第一部，另外兩本則是《尋路中國》和《甲骨》。

1996年，從普林斯頓和牛津大學結束了本科和碩士學位學習的何偉，選擇到中國的小城涪陵做一名志願教師，《江城》則記錄了這兩年的教師生活，成為他書寫中國的起點。

2.如何看待中國傳統的歷史、傳說和神話

何偉用陌生人的方式敘述著我們熟悉的一切，比如那些從長輩、老師到我們口耳相傳的神話、傳說和歷史，早已被我們不斷重複，嚼爛了揉碎了塞進腦核深處，很少被提起。甚至在那些因太過於熟悉，再不會在心中激起一點點波瀾的歷史裡，何偉都讀出了不同的意味。

白鶴樑上的雕刻，就像是任何一個古代文明興盛過的地方一樣。凡人力之所及的山石、岩壁甚至懸崖，在大自然的刀削斧刻之餘，人類偏偏要去添上一筆。

去過泰山，讀了不少題刻，有帝王典禮記錄的洋洋洒洒，也有丟官失爵者獨自往來的暗自神傷。

有道是：得志者春風洋洋，失意者自嘆清高，高位者威風作態，庸人則到此一游。

正如皇帝會時常到泰山行祭禮，以求神佑，以保社稷。白鶴梁的題刻也一樣，因為有了和神秘莫測的天意相呼應的神奇傳說，於是成了皇帝謀求庇護和慰藉的儀式性地點。

在旅遊景點，我個人常常覺得歷代帝王之好笑，明明前朝覆滅之記憶猶在，卻不取前車之鑒，仍然固執地選擇在同樣的地方祭禮並題刻，若是真有什麼神靈，豈不註定重蹈覆轍？

我還在感嘆重複有何意義的時候，在這些無聊的循環里，何偉看到了歷史的不斷向前的力量。

「歷朝皇帝的代言人都會在這些砂石上留下題刻，而跟這些永無休止的循環緊密相連的，是人類歷史徑直前行的軌跡。」

2.接二連三、冷酷無情、勢不可擋——何偉眼中的當代中國

變化是身處變化之中的人常常難以察覺的，這就好比運動中需要一個參考系，身處運動之中的人反而感觸不深。

在涪陵，被何偉描述為處在「變化邊緣」的小城，是所有故事的起點。雖然在這樣一個好像被遺忘的小城裡度過他《江城》的全部兩年，在再版的後記里，何偉還是做了這樣的一個描述：

「在過去二十年，那樣一種轉型變化的感覺——接二連三、冷酷無情、勢不可擋——正是中國的本質特徵。」

第一是「接二連三」。

無論是師專來自農村的學生，還是身處涪陵小城的居民，從他們的上輩開始，就開始經歷著時空壓縮式的變革。

這些人身上經歷過的變遷和背負著的歷史，都是美國人何偉未曾體驗過和難以想像的。在同一片土地上，他們被土地革命、人民公社和包產到戶過，被戰爭和饑荒洗禮過，被政治鬥爭裹挾過。

如今，這些人的靈魂又被市場和資本重塑著。

小城的單位體制要變，「純粹打不破的鐵飯碗不復存在，各個單位都進行了改革，所有的社會主義制度都帶上了中國特色，逐漸發展成了共產主義和市場經濟的奇怪結合體，不斷地改變和重塑著孔老師他們的生活參數。」

文革的傷痛、三峽工程帶來的家園流失環境破壞、城市單位制度導致鐵飯碗的打破，對於這些接二連三的變革，大多數人倒是顯得不那麼在乎。

所以，第二是「冷酷無情」，這冷漠是何偉無法理解的，儘管他試圖給出答案。

他將人們對三峽工程給生活造成的影響的冷漠歸結為某種愛國主義的激發，

「這裡的小團體很多，也不乏愛國主義，但跟世界上的其他地方一樣，這種愛國主義的激發，既可能出於心繫祖國的真情實感，也可能是因為恐懼和無知。你可以操弄這種恐懼和無知，告訴人們，儘管大壩可能會破壞江河與城鎮，但卻對中國意義重大。」

他將學生對於文革傷痛的無視看作是某種主動的選擇性遺忘。

事實上，好多學生的父母都在「文革」中吃過苦頭，但是在涉及到這些歷史的短劇的表演中，學生開著歷史的玩笑，「似乎沒有人感到沮喪，這部短劇跟《仲夏夜之夢》或者其他任何喜劇一樣，令人捧腹不已。」

於是，何偉說，也許「記性好的，大概都被厚重的苦痛壓死了；只有記性壞的，適者生存，還能欣然活著。」

而像是孔老師一樣的小城居民們，他們變革中或者吃了虧，或者嘗了甜頭，他們「平和心態跟其他許許多多中國人一樣，在外人看來排山倒海般的種種變革面前，他們保持著出奇的平靜。原因非常簡單，他曾經歷過的，比這還要糟糕。」

第三是「勢不可擋」。

就像是三峽大壩攔截的江水一樣，上升的水位不可阻擋，那些碑刻、房屋都將被吞沒。

何偉感到遺憾，但是中國人，面對變化，則很少有這種的感情。

在為安置移民而營建的新城裡，何偉反而感覺到某種類似於「希望」的東西。「實際上，就算有什麼東西在這個時候阻擋了它的進程，那也毫無意義。在中國這個被人遺忘的心臟地帶，我看到的是一個關於舉國大發展的隱喻，完美無缺。」

3.不合理而被接受的習慣

在一些因為習以為常而獲得了某種合法性的習慣中，何偉作為一個局外人的觀察反而更具洞察。比如對社會上給予女性的壓力、語言中對女性的潛在暴力，以及集體思維在社會轉型中造成的惡性循環。

在後半部，有一章具體敘述了何偉在中國的幾個男性朋友結婚後的作為。「讓我感到驚訝的是，我在城裡面結交的很多已婚男性朋友都在欺騙自己的配偶，而離婚對於涉事的女性來說仍然是不折不扣的恥辱和罵名。」

同樣的行為，男人被看做風流、有能力，女性則會被認為是「水性楊花」。何偉感嘆，「就連語言都在捍衛男人，使他們的率性而為不受任何指責。中文在其他很多方面更是顯出性別歧視。」

看到學習優秀的女生輕易結束自己的生命、墮胎的女孩不得不放棄學業失掉工作、獨身闖蕩深圳的女孩子面對誘惑的抉擇……

對於女性在轉折期所承受的壓力，他也深有感觸，他說「中國女性的受教育程度也比以往有了大幅度的提高——但在一定程度上來說，這只不過讓她們進一步認識到自己的苦境而已。跟中國人生活中的諸多方面一樣，女性的獨立問題已經走到了轉折點，但這個過程似乎尤其艱難。」

在對類似文革這些社會巨變的觀察中，何偉認為集體思維有可能起到了某種助長的作用。「非理性的政治衝動在世界上的任何地方都會發生——不可思議之處在於受羞辱煎熬的人數如此之巨，大家一致確信他們存在著這樣那樣的缺陷和不足。」

他的洞察是：

「集體思維有可能是一種惡性循環——你個人的身份認同來自某個群體，即便它發了瘋，這個群體依舊受到大家的尊重，而你個人的自我認識卻可能在頃刻之間轟然倒塌。中國人缺乏這樣的傳統，即將個人的身份認同建立在既定的價值體系之上，而不管別人怎麼看待。」

4.「無言而又剛毅」的情感

這裡變革過於迅速、生活太過艱辛，生命總是顯得那麼不堪一擊，短短兩年的時間，何偉也目睹數次這樣的悲傷。

而一如往常，他身邊中國人的悲傷總是那麼以無力的方式表達，他們「顯得無言而又剛毅。這樣的無助和剛毅糅合成一體，其中的辛酸讓我感到十分難過。」

即便是江邊船上，最後的告別，也顯得隱忍而含蓄。

「中國人的道別從來就沒讓人自在過——沒有擁抱、寥寥數語、強忍眼淚。我們跟大家生硬地握了握手，然後就上了躉船。」

何偉向江水告了別。

「我跟長江之間的關係一直非常簡單：我有時候順水而下，有時候又會逆水而上。逆水較慢，順水較快。一切的一切，莫過於此——我們在路上交錯而過，然後又繼續各奔東西。」

他說：

「我在涪陵花了更多的時間才看清了生活的這一面，因為我這個外國人一開始就被排斥在一定的距離之外。在一定程度上，當這樣的距離不復存在的時候，問題反而更難應對。這樣的情形有如凝視一張不帶任何錶情的空洞笑臉，卻突然間發現一生的憂傷其實都凝聚在了嘴角邊。」

5.全書同情而剋制的表達

書里也不止一次流露出某種不滿的情緒。不過，何偉的了不起之處在於，他從不擴大這種不滿指向的對象，他的不滿從來是針對於一個人或者一件事情，而不是全部中國，而他的表達也是同情克制和帶有反思意味的。

在某次與一個擦鞋匠的衝突中，這一點尤為顯著。那一次，擦鞋匠冒犯了何偉，並喊出「涪陵根本不需要外國人」。這次衝突對何偉衝擊很大，即便所有其他在場的中國人都站在何偉的一邊，他仍然在反思自己的問題。

他說「在這樣的地方過日子，其中的陌生和壓力註定會改變你，而我內心的某種東西在很早之前就已經變得堅如磐石了。實際上，我也不敢完全肯定他說的就是一句錯話：也許涪陵人真的不需要這樣的外國人呢。然而，在一定程度上，也是他們助長了這樣的外國人。不管怎麼說，我們都是同病之人。」

而對於不同的意見和作為，他保持了足夠的尊重，他試圖隱忍而剋制地去描述這些不同，並以真誠和同情的態度試圖去理解這些差異的原因。

教學中，學生和何偉對於進步和現代化的看法存在著巨大的差異。何偉對印第安平原生活的理想看法是保持他們原有的生活方式，但學生們一致認為應該幫助印第安人實現「現代化」。

他說「不過，跟大多數中國人一樣，他們大都是上一代才脫離了極度貧困的狀態。我覺得是自由和文化的東西，在他們眼裡卻是苦難和無知。」在這一點上，何偉的同情之理解比今天許多國人做得更寬容。

不同地區之間存在地域性歧視在中國並不少見，而其他地區的人說出對於四川人的偏見時，作為外國人的他在書中做了極有力量的正面辯護。

「對於任何一個勤勞而果敢的流動人員而言，都可能有人用類似耳熟能詳的陳詞濫調去描述他們。這樣的話語——簡單地說，根本不能——阻擋四川人的腳步，恰如它無法阻擋任何來自逆境的人的腳步。」

何偉——這位文學碩士，在這片因為生活過於艱辛而顯得蒼涼大地上，在最後一章，寫下了自己兩年從文學出發的一點點願望：

「我希望他們會把這一點點東西藏在記憶的深處，並從那質樸的美感中找尋到一點永恆的真實。這就是我對文學的信念：真實是永恆的，不受日常生活所累。」

邊讀邊摘抄，邊寫讀後感，寫完了以後，就貼在這裡吧。下劃線是原著，後面是隨手寫的一些感想，並不成體系。只希望能夠給沒有看過原文的讀者，一點點味道，原文之有趣和雋永。

「She smiled as she spoke, but it was the Chinese smile that served as a mask against deeper feelings. Those smiles could hide many emotions - embarrassment, anger, sadness. When the people smiled like that, it was as if all of the emotion was wound tightly and displaced; sometimes you caught a glimpse of it in the eyes, or at the corner of a mouth, or perhaps in a single wrinkle stretching sadly across a forehead.」

It』s something that you do either by choice, or by no choice. I find it hard to respond to certain situations, so I wear my Chinese smile, or maybe it』s not a Chinese smile, it』s universal smile, when people don』t bother to explain or clarify or share or argue. Sometimes, it』s just for the best. I certainly find that a lot from people around me, and now somehow I find myself doing it as well. Maybe just because I』m tired, maybe I genuinely don』t know what to answer, maybe I just want to avoid the blankness after hearing someone said something, or maybe I』m just so used to staying in my own world.

The construction of the Dam will erase the culture relics and museums along the river. But Wei Tingcheng, the 70-year-old chief engineer who had spent virtually his entire professional life developing the project, scoffed at the palaces that archaeologist were proposing. 「To fell you the truth,」 he said, in a 1996 interview with the New York Time, 「the common people of China have such a low education level that they will not be able to enjoy these cultural relics, and only some of these experts will go to theses museums.」

A country like China is accustomed to making difficult choices that Americans might not dream of considering. I thought of this every time I visited the White Crane Ridge, where I was always amazed to see the conduction of the ancient carvings, and the timeless river. Nowhere else had I felt so strongly that three are two types of the history, nature』s and man』s, and that one is a creature of cycles while the other, with mixed results, aims always at straightness - progress, development, control. But this was a poetic turn of thought, and most people in Fuling couldn』t afford it. They didn』t have the time or interest to visit the White Crane Ridge, and they didn』t worry much about the relationship between man and nature. Often there were no other tourists on the ridge, other than me. Even educated people often weren』t interested. It wasn』t like America, where an empty and featureless late-Qing Dynasty battlefield might receive millions of dollars in funding, simply because some soldiers had fought and died there during a civil war. There was a great deal of history in China nd if you protected all the ancient sites, the people would have nowhere to grow their crops.

I wouldn』t even realize the issue, should it not for Peter to write about it in his book. I used to have a very purposeful and clear ruler to evaluate everything I do - does it serve my purpose? Can this make me more successful? Will this look good on my CV? Will it help me make more money? will this make me look better in front of other people? And I would only do things that serve a particular short-term purpose, or maybe sometimes long term as well. And from this perspective, all the things I do, including the politically correct things, like reading, learning and volunteering, becomes very short-sighted. The reason I』m writing about my own mentality, is because somehow I found this to be traced back to the generalities set by the country. Art and history are of no use, relics and museums cannot create economic values, or 「straightness」 so we can abandon them. Their inspirational values mean nothing. Is it the low education degree that makes it hard for the general public to appreciate them, or is it the other way around, that the narrow-mind pursuit of gains and success has left not time for even pondering the possibility of those things to exist? At least for me, it』s the latter. I』ve been taught, to focus on the orthodox studies, to achieve higher, because that makes you admirable and successful. If one day I do end up learning art, it is not because I myself genuinely have developed an interest into it, but because it makes me look good, once other people know I』m knowledgeable about it, or it adds on my charm. To make things worse, if one day you do have the 「poetic」 thoughts about something other than the mundane criteria of success, most likely you will be ridiculed, anti-mainstreamed, and get critiqued about been too naive, innocent, young, and idealist, of not setting your feet on earth to grab something solid. And to be honest, it will be very hard, and most of the times in vain, to try to fight against that perception. Most people, would give in, and follow the earth-ed way. But I cannot help thinking, what will the whole society end up look like, if everyone is so straight-forward, and explicit in pursuit materialistic gains? Sure we do have may galleries, museums, and artistic places, but do they exist to let people pay tribute for the genius minds, or do they exist just to suit the crave for what seems to be a more 「sophisticated」 image of success? A certain sense of loss will always exist, if external approval is what we seek for. People, and personal will, the freedom to choose shall persist. Of course, we build museums, and galleries, not for everyone to enter and appreciate the masterpieces, but at least, we let them be there, so that people who have the ability and interests, can have that choice to being nurtured, and educated inside.

Chinese teaching styles are also significantly different from western methods. In China, a teacher is absolutely respected without question, and the teacher-student relationship tends to be formal. The teacher teaches and is right, and the student studies and is wrong. But this isn』t our tradition in America, as my own students noticed. I encouraged informality in our classes, and if a student was wrong I pointed out what she had done right and praised her for making a good effort. To them, this praise was meaningless. What was the point of that? I fa student was wrong, she needed to be corrected without and quibbling or softening - that was the Chinese way. Success was expected and failures criticized and promptly corrected You were wight or you were budui, there was no middle ground. I grew to hate budui: its sound mocked me. There was a harshness to it; the bu was a rising tone and the duo dropped abruptly, building like my confidence and then collapsing all at once. And it bothered me all the more because I knew that Teacher Liao was only telling the truth: virtually everything I did with the language was budui. I was an adult and as an adult I should be able to accept critics where it was needed. But that wasn』t the American way I was accustomed to having my ego soothed; I wanted to be praised for my effort. I didn』t mind criticism as long as it was candy-coated.

One thing I noticed when I spent my exchange year in the States, was how frequently I was appreciated for my efforts, and oddly they made it sound so easy that I didn』t even sense even a slight hint of hypocrisy or faking. All I feel is genuinely and sincerity. I still remember the first time I was on public speaking class, giving a room of American students a speech about blood donation. Of course I was nervous. Confidence and capability is another matter here, but after the class there were students coming to my desk, saying to my face, Jing you did a good job! And, that, meant a lot to me. For the past 19 years, back then, I was living in a Budui environment. I have to work very very hard to be dui, to gain approval from my teachers and parents. If the result doesn』t turn out to be good, like the score was not above 60, or I failed to become one of the top 5 students in class, then the efforts I』ve made all along the way, doesn』t mean anything. This might be trivial, compared to the impact on a kid』s passion to learn. The lack of attention to the whole journey, and the evaluation criterial associated with it, will very likely make the kid to ignore how much they have gained during the journey. No good result comes out of it, OK, then I』m worthless. They are in such a desperate craze for a good result, if not, that destroys everything. But luckily I found my way out of it. Experience matters, results, just go with it.

Emotionally speaking, this is hard to take as well. Feelings are not important, egos are not tendered. In the long run, that instills you a sense of self-doubt, and a strangely combined sense of stubborn. You said I was budui, but I will prove to you that one day I can make it dui. So you work harder, but again for a result and people』s approval, which actually, is very risky. We never learn to value our own true gains and the gradual changes that happen to us along the way. You』ll be lucky if the second time you get the ideal result, but doomed if you don』t, and that will be a vicious cycle.

He had a quarrel with a shoeshine man and lost his temper：

I was ashamed of what i had done. I was glad that the people on Gansuntang liked me enough to come to my defense, but I knew that I had been needlessly cruel and petty. The incident left me embarrassed; I had been educated at Princeton and Oxford, and yet for some reason I felt the need to face off with a Sichuanese shoeshine man until the locals said he had no culture. I knew that his harassment had nothing to do with me personally, and I knew that I should have sympathy for him, because his bitterness was the result of other pressures. But after a year and a half in Fuling I couldn』t push away the wave of hatred that I felt. I could remind myself who I was, and I could think about the advantages that I had received my whole life; but out on the street all of that slipped away. The strangeness and the pressures of life in a place like that were bound to change you, and something in side of me had stiffened long ago. In deed, I wasn』t certain that the man was entirely worong; perhaps the people in Fuling didn』t need this kind of waiguoren. but to some extent they had helped create him, and for better or worse we were struck together.

I used to believe in one line, from the Great Gatsby, that says, you should always try your best to understand and sympathize the people who dissatisfy or unpleased you, because not everyone is as privileged as you to receive such good education. 如果別人讓你感到不滿或真快，或者他們的行為不如意，你需要理解，不是每個人都像你這樣，受到了良好的教育。I think it goes beyond education, it』s about experience. Not everyone is as lucky as you, able to see more of the world, to explore different dimensions, so you can develop into a mature, and understanding well-being. Plus you being able to do that is not solely because of your own efforts, but with a series of co-incidents and God proposed arrangements. If you think about it this way, the sense of superiority would easily fade away, because should it for the other person to live your life trait, maybe they would be the same kind of high-achievers, or even outperform you. It is your experience that defines who you are, and the people around you, the circumstances that has made you into a package of being. In no way would I be entitled to land on a position to judge people, based on their behaviors, and appearance, because I had no idea of what kind of pressure they are facing, or what kind of incidents and circumstances, which in most cases are uncontrollable, that have made them the people they are today. From this perspective, it』s of no use to compare yourself to others, because there is very little commonality to ensure a level playing ground. If you only focus on your own personal growth path, life would be much easier. But anyway that』s another self-help chicken soup that I wouldn』t touch upon right now.

You are made by the experience, and people around you. If you become a better person year on year, thank them. Cherish each little thing that happen to me, each little encounter that come in your way, because more or less, they shape who you are. The old say is, who are you? You invented her. But maybe a more grateful statement is, people around you, and all the encounters help you, for better or for worse, to create the person you want to be. Give yourself credit, but remember it』s never only you.

This same instinct led to the mobs that gathered around accident victims, staring passively but doing nothing to help. Crowds often formed in Fuling, but I rawly saw them act as a group motivated by any sort of moral sense. I had witnessed that far more often in individualistic America, where people wanted a community that served the individual, and as a result they sometimes looked at a victim and thought: I can image what that feels like, ands I will help. Certainly there is rubbernecking in America as well, but it was nothing compared to what I saw in Fuling, where the average citizen seemed to react to a person in trouble by thinking That is not my brother, or my friend, or anybody I know, and it is interesting to watch him suffer. When there were serious car accidents, people would rush over, shouting eagerly as they ran, 「Sile meiyou? Silemeiyou?」 - Is anybody dead? Is anybody dead? In the end, the divide between crowd and mob was extremely fragile in Fuling.

The vast majority of the people would not be directly affected by the coming changes, and so they weren』t concerned. Despite having large sections of the city scheduled to be flooded within the next decade, it wasn』t really a community issue, because there wasn』t a community as one would generally define it. There were lots of small groups, and there was a great deal of patriotism, but like most patriotism anywhere in the world, this was spurred as much by fear and ignorance as by andy true sense of a connection to the Motherland. The dam was an issue for the people who were unfortunate enough t olive along the banks, but even they weren』t likely to cause trouble. Like most Chinese, they and been toughened by their history.

Sometimes when we cannot explain something, or more accurately, when we can explain a problem but fail to find a proper solution, we』ll just say, it』s of Chinese characteristic. And the lack of community sense is definitely one of those 「complicated ones」. Again this is another issue I wouldn』t notice, or dig deep of reasons had it not for Peter to disclose. A lack of empathy leads to a lack of community sense, leading to a loss of belongings. We seem to be detaching ourselves somewhere in the middle. It』s that feeling of, it』s none of my business, so I should think of myself first, doing some calculation, am I gaining something out of it? If not, then no I won』t act. But what perhaps needs to be understood is that, sometimes you do something, not to exchange the return, but simply to enjoy the pleasure of giving, giving back to the people you love, giving back to the community, and that giving will make you a complete person.

You might say this is too much for a simple excerpt of the discussion about the Dam, but it applies for basically everything. Sometimes I ask myself, in an environment where people are all focusing on short term gains and losses, what can you do to hold that beacon, and not to compromise your characters just to get what we see as 「surface gains」? And what is the balance, between having faith in your own belief, and admiring others』 achievements and mimic them? Deep down I know everyone is different, there is no point of comparing yourself to others. As long as you keep working on your skills and knowledge, time will give what you want eventually. You do something, not for other people』s approval, but to satisfy your own passion, and crave. You will develop a whole system of moralities and value criteria in my mind, and it is your responsibility to safeguard them, not compromising just because others say it』s too naive and fragile. You nurture yourself, by surrounding yourself with the people who share the same sheer passion of the love of their lives, and shield yourself against the negative feedbacks.

I believe in the power of community. When working in Plan China, the advocacy for community-based child development now makes more sense to me than before. Take initiatives to form a community, nurture it, and let it grow. Maybe somehow it still should gear back to education. Teach them to be long-term oriented, learn to care, and learn to empathize, learn to nurture themselves. But at this point, still no starting point yet.

The longer I lived in Fuling, the more I was truck by the view of the individual - in my opinion, this was the biggest difference between what I had known in the West and what I saw in Sichuan. The sense of self seemed largely external; you are identified by the way that others viewed you. that had always been the goal of Confucianism, which defined the individual』s place strictly in relation to the people around her: a mother, a daughter, a wife. This was an excellent way to preserve social harmony, but once that harmony was broken the lack of self-identity made it difficult to put things back together again. Often it seemed that in China there was no internal compass that was able to withstand these events. There wasn』t a tradition of anchoring one』s identity to a fixed set of values regardless of what others thought, and in terrain periods this had contributed to the country』s disasters.

Being different wasn』t liberating, as it sometimes is in America, and this was especially true for women from a peasant background. The result that that they became outsiders not so much by choice as by helpless inclination, which naturally made them feel that they were the ones at fault.

Women could earn money themselves; this was a way of becoming independent, but a career could also result in the frustration of sexism and the criticism of people who felt that a woman shouldn』t strive in this way.

This was very liberating thought, from my perspective, because as a modern lady, I find ourselves constantly in negotiation with the external voice. Deep down I』m still that traditional girl who wants to be the common and happily-ever-after way, but all those years of oversea study experience and self-educating has made it impossible to turn back. I enjoy the independence, and am very proud, as well as grateful for the whole journey. But inevitably, the pressure of trying to please everyone, especially the beloved ones, is always there. I believe this is no exception for a lot of young ladies. But it all depends on your own interpretations. Maybe there is no external forces, maybe the only ridicule that you feel comes from the crucified cross you have hanged over your head by yourself. If you have the courage to remove that, then you will be truly liberated, and see a bigger world. Self-identity is something to be cherished, not to be blamed. Find that anchoring value of yourself, something that you can constantly come back to, to build yourself upon, and something that will make you a better person as the fundamentals.

I thought of the old man in Fengdu with his stack of envelopes. So often my experiences in Sichuan were like that - I brushed against people just long enough to gain the slightest sense of the dizzying past that had made them what they were today. It was impossible to grasp all of the varied forces that had affected his life and would continue to affect him in the future - the war, the taiwan split, the cultural revolution, the dammed river and the new city, his pretty daughter in Xiamen withe her cell phone and driving lessons. How could one person experience all of that, helpless from start to finish, and remain sane?

I remember one of the comments about the book, saying that it is exactly because of the author』s identity as an by-passer, which makes him an inconsiderate, or detached observer of all the stories, that make all the experience and stories exotic, funny, thought-provoking and meaningful. If he were one of them, he would not have the luxury, or the good will to record everything with such a tender heart. To some extent I agree with the statement, because being in the life is what makes life boring, you will fight against it because it is YOUR OWN life, while if you are just an observer, he will not bother, in a lot of case, to struggle and fight.

I was fortunate enough to have the cultural conflict experience when I was 19, when I spent one year in the States. Very similar experience, a nice small friendly town, where you barely see any foreigners. At first, all of the curiosities, brand new experience was so overwhelming, and enlightening, I felt each day I was learning and growing, and I have to admit that brought me a genuine happiness that nothing can compare. It』s a love story you have with a place, and it extends beyond the first encounter, you just felt like everything is unfolding gradually in front of your eyes, leading you to an amazing new wonderland.

Then again at the age of 22 I spent 3 weeks in Sichuan, very similar to the author. And I came with two foreign students. I empathize everything the author had talked about in the book, the staring, the attention, the special treatment. The 3 weeks flied over quickly. I was a by-passer, and that identity, to some extent, gives me superiority. Whenever I saw adversed situations, I would do something for them, out of good will, but deep down in my mind I also know it』s not sustainable. So since then I have been constantly in this struggle of whether what I did, teaching and building a library in rural Sichuan, was a help, or an intervention. Maybe their life would be better without all the fuss. Certainly three weeks is a very short period of time of making an impact in local people』s lives. At most we bring with us a fresh air of the outside world, but I don』t know it that』s what is needed there. Or rather, I think we take more than we give. We have selfishly satisfied our crave for volunteer work, for being in a noble cause, but that』s hardly translated into anything concrete into the kids』 lives. Forgive me for being so blunt, but indeed intervention will always be controversial.

There were good days and there were bad days. To some degree this was what I liked most about Fuling: it was a human place, brightened by decency and scarred by flaws, and a place like that was always engaging. For two years I had never been bored.

And I know that I would always remember this woman』s quite pride and toughness, and the way it had gone from being infuriating to something whose consistency was admirable and even comforting.

Now I realized that the simplicity had been a mirage. That was the way so many things in Fuling turned out --- complex and uncertain. To some degree it was just the difficulties of life anywhere in the world. Death, divorce, lies, abortion, expell, etc. Those things happened everywhere. But in Fuling it had taken me longer to see that side of life, because at first as a waiguoren I was held at a distance, and in a way that distance was hardest to deal with once it was gone. It was like looking at a blank meaningless smile and suddenly recognizing a lifetime of sadness concentrated int he corner. I hoped that the students would keep it somewhere int he back of their minds, and that they would find something steady and true in its simple beauty, this was the faith I had in literature: its truth was constant, unaffected b the struggles of daily life. Despite that, the people there would turn fine. Most of them were. They were tough, and sweet and funny and sad, and people that would always survive. It wasn』t necessarily gold, but perhaps because of that it would stay.

Just like the pure beauty of his words here. And reading, literature has a beauty of simplicity, but life is complicated in nature as a normality. Everywhere the same.

我特別喜歡何偉，他筆下的涪陵特別有生活氣息。《江城》是我近兩年來看到的水平前三的隨筆（《甲骨文》更好，但是被禁了，呵呵）

分析的話考完試寫一個。

作者拋開獵奇的目的，能站在人類的立場，從內心去悲憫、去關切的情懷，令人敬重，值得學習。

個人認為此書有點被過譽了。

作為散亂的生活記錄，確實能滿足外國人窺探大陸尋常生活的慾望，不過高度也僅限於此；若是單獨截取任何一段文字出來，我也會覺得作者的筆法細膩，但放到章節尺度上，就覺得凌亂不堪，完全東一錘西一棒的樣子，單純的被時間線驅趕，沒什麼全盤的考量，某種程度上折射出作者當時思想的局限。論寫作手法上不及後來的作者後來的作品如《甲骨文》。

何偉寫作技巧性的東西是有的。某些章節寫得很別緻。他的記錄包含心理記錄較真實，兩場與中國人的衝突場景描繪都沒有遮掩，這樣讀者會用自己的理解重建事件現場，而不會受到作者價值觀的干擾，這很棒。

但敘事材料的選擇又是別樣的，這種視角對中國人來說是很新奇的。我想這也是此類作品一直備受好評的原因。

異鄉人的身份能夠催生出新奇的體驗和思考，不見得是身為「洋鬼子」所以旅行是很美妙的事。

看了《野心時代》後讀《江城》，所以感覺會有點不一樣，稍微做下比對。

1.後者的更細膩和真誠，前者更多是站著看。後者是扔下自己，去習慣和捕捉喇叭聲和眼光；

2.前者聚集在國家宏觀上，後者則是校園內外、生活習俗中，經常看到他到某家蹭吃蹭喝的，爽；

3.後者的心理活動和歷程更是過癮，中文名字、和中文老師的交戰、班上的喜劇排練、和小姐的相處，跟深圳學生的來信、街邊的擦鞋窮矮中年人的衝突，最後的告別時各自姿勢，細緻入微的描寫，讓我直接聯想到自己的成長環境；

4.文化差異是座山，要想懂一個地方還真的要學會那門語言，方言是橋樑，翻山越嶺，然後住在那裡，學習，跟當地人交流；

5.要常出去走走，多看看，生活真的不缺乏美，缺乏發現美的眼睛；

6.世界太大，貧窮太多，民智太淺。不過差異讓世界更多元，也要減少玻璃心；

7.翻譯很給力，學渣要是看英文版可能作死，要多學學英語。

差不多就是這樣，計劃以後讓子女看下這本書，也打算今晚看何偉的另一本書《尋路中國》。。。

（待補）

視角獨特啊。

出事兒的時候只看吵架的人怎麼能寫出大場面。

何偉他每個人都看。

歪果仁嘛，再怎麼說不會有國人先入為主的陳舊的觀念。

再說何偉本身就是高材生，水平講道理比香港記者不知道高到哪裡去了。

敢說真話啊。

一是因為有的人對於真話已經懶於說出口，

二是因為有的人不願意麵對真相。

理所當然我們聽真話的機會越來越少了。

所以真話才顯得那麼可貴啊。

何偉他看到事實，就說了出來而已。

個人感覺在某些問題（如電取暖但是經常跳閘）上面，作者能感同身受的想問題，特別是他提出了對於在思想灌輸下成長起來的我們上一輩的人，應該是理解勝過批評的去對待他們。這一點他早20年就意識到了，真是慚愧不如啊。

之前看完了這本書，沒什麼感覺呀！

看完了，我只想說：

以前涪陵繁華的地方，現在依然是那些地方，沒什麼大的改變。雖然說是在寫作者在涪陵的生活，但是跟涪陵並沒有太大的關係。

原來某些營生在那時候就有了。

中國以前的空氣污染以前也很嚴重，只是現在才得到重視而已。柴靜誠不欺我呀！

感覺莆田系在這本書里也可以初見端倪

下面是一下美句摘抄：

我們相互交換著陳詞濫調，而彼此不知：我並不知道中國傳統詩歌中常以青蔥比喻女人的手指，他們也不知道莎氏十八首中的詩的永生已被評論了無數遍，幾近死亡了。我們的交換使得一切都是新的了：再沒有乏味的詩歌，沒有演濫的戲劇，沒有那種像被醫生診斷式研究過的角色。
但主要的，我還是討厭文學的政治化，在西方：文學被當作社會分析而不是藝術來閱讀，書本被用來服務這個或那個的政治理論。很少有一個評論是針對文本本身所作的反應；還不如說文本被扭曲了，讓其可以為評論者所持的觀念作出註解。那兒有馬克思主義評論家，女性主義評論家，後殖民的評論家；他們幾乎總是揮舞著他們的理論，好似模具一般，把書本強塞進去，把它們壓成同一形狀的整齊產品。馬克思主義者讀後，得出的結論是馬克思主義，女性主義者得出了女性主義；後殖民主義者得出了後殖民。這就好像一遍遍讀一本不知所云的書。
而且我也討厭英文學院總是胡亂修改真經，試圖製作出一張多元文化的書單來，就好象他們放在本科宣傳冊上的假照片。在我看來，關於文學，建立和尊敬一個文化的基礎是有價值的，現在，在中國，我看到了根基被撕裂後的情狀。多少年來，中國人一味開採文學的社會價值，尤其在文革期間，除了如「紅色娘子軍」等寥寥幾個政治作品外，所有的京劇都被嚴禁。即便今天依然有很多處於失落狀態。我們的學生們都知道馬克思，而沒有人了解孔子。
但同時，我現在能以更多的人道眼光來看待政治化的原因。我認識到，偉大文學作品的部分力量，來自於它的世界性，它的普世價值：一個四川農民的女兒能讀到貝奧武夫，將之與她自己的生活聯繫起來，一班的中國學生能夠傾聽莎士比亞的詩歌，而看到一個無瑕的漢朝美人。但與這種力量相隨的是脆弱，因為總有人想要借偉大作家的力量為自己所利用。很自然的，你會希望莎士比亞站在你那邊———如果他不是那麼合適的話，你就曲解他的文字來服務於自己的意圖。或者，如果他拒絕跟隨，那就將其從真經的行列里驅逐出去。

在幾天後，亞當計劃給學生安排一個夜間的講座。他的父母過去住在威斯康辛的鄉下，想要演示一些幻燈片，講述美國的農業。亞當去了外辦，跟王先生說了。這是我父親上講座時我沒幹的——我的個人方針是不跟外辦有任何交道，因為那隻會給自己帶來不可預測的麻煩。但亞當以為王先生或許想聽聽這講座，所以去找他說了。王先生說，很不巧，學生們在周三晚上有事。
「他們有課嗎？」亞當問。
「他們已經有計划了。我很抱歉。」
「那沒問題，」亞當說。「我們可以在周四上。」
王先生輕輕笑了。他總是對所有事情致以輕笑。這種笑容讓你不信任他，直到你了解他多些，然而你就更不信任他了。
「我恐怕那不可能，」他說。「學生們周四也很忙。」
「在晚上？」
「是的。」
「好吧，我會跟他們說，找一個時間，然後我會告訴你。我想你也許想來聽聽。」
「事實上，」王先生很明確說道，「你父母不可能向學生們講課。」
「為什麼？」
「學校的人覺得那樣不合適。」他再次笑了。
「這怎麼會不合適？他們不是在學英語嗎？這是一個很好的練習機會，而且只是關於農業——沒有任何政治話題。他們將會談談我們曾經住過的鄉村。」
「是的，但你必須教你自己的課程。」
「我父母在一家美國大學教了許多年。他們做老師比我強，但如果有問題的話，我們可以額外上一課。我覺得這是個好機會，讓學生們見識不同的英語老師。」
「相信我，我理解，」王先生說，「我很願意去聽講座，但譚先生反對。我很抱歉。」
這就是王先生慣用的手段——好乾部/壞幹部。譚先生是個高級別的行政員，負責外辦的，通常，他是王先生的壞幹部。事實上，我們覺得譚先生乃是學校里最討人喜歡的行政員之一，一個友善的人，對我們要坦誠得多。如果允許我們直接跟他打交道的話，情況會簡單多了，但把他放在一個安全的距離外，會更有用，讓他當個壞幹部。
「這樣如何？」亞當說。「我會上課，然後學生們可以問我父母些問題。行嗎？」
「恐怕不行。」
「所以說，我父母不能跟學生們說話？」
「哦，他們當然可以跟同學們說話！」
「但如果我上課的話，他們不能說什麼？」
「是的。」
第二天，亞當點名後，就下了課。他說，同學們可以離開，但如果他們想留下來聽梅爾先生，梅爾太太講話，那也很歡迎。沒有人離開。他的父母放了幻燈，上了堂美國農業的講座。學生們提了問。問題回答了。沒一個幹部到場，但無疑他們後來聽說了。
到那個學期，我們對那種沒腦子的政治限制越來越難容忍了。一般說來，我避免跟幹部打交道，幸運的是，這還不難。我從來不去外辦，除非絕對必要時，而我也嘗試不跟任何一個行政員說話。在我的公寓里，有兩台電話：一條外線，一條校園內部線。這個安排很好，因為只有幹部會用校園線，而我從來不接。
王先生乃是唯一一個我真的不喜歡的——一次又一次的事實，證明他特別油滑，不誠實。我對其他人沒有這種感覺，然而他們身上某些東西讓我覺得壓抑。傅主任可能是最慘的一例，因為我知道他真心喜歡我們，關心我們的福利，然而他看起來有巨大的壓力，來自上面，有幾次，這種壓力阻止他向我們坦誠以對。毫無例外，事情總是那樣——總有壓力來自上面，壞幹部壓著好乾部。這裡有無數的好乾部，然而你卻從來見不到壞的那個，但好像總是他們來做決定。
來源：() - RIVER
TOWN（江城）——PETER HESSLER（何偉）_討厭權力_新浪博客
回到去年的十二月，桑尼，亞當，還有我一起寫了個縮短版的「一首聖誕頌歌」，來讓我們的口語班演這出狄更斯的戲。在我們準備期間，傅主任叫我過去，他焦慮不安，跟我說，我們怎麼也不能教同學們聖誕頌歌。
「你知道共產黨對傳播宗教非常敏感的，」他說。「我很抱歉，但是同學們不允許在課堂上唱聖誕歌。」
「那我們還可以談論聖誕節嗎？他們在學習美國文化。」
「是的，可以。但他們不能唱歌。」
「那麼非宗教的歌怎麼樣？戲中間有個部分，他們得唱聖誕歌，我可以叫他們唱一點兒也不宗教的歌。你知道，在美國，許多人都不覺得聖誕節是個宗教節日。比如，有這樣的歌，『我們祝你聖誕快樂，我們祝你聖誕快樂，我們祝你聖誕快樂，我們祝你聖誕快樂，還有新年幸福！』」
「不行，」傅主任說，還是笑得很緊張。「恐怕我們不能唱跟聖誕節有關的歌。我抱歉，但你知道這不是我的決定。」
（這個情況現在也發生了變化。我的兩歲侄女已經在深圳的幼兒園裡學唱聖誕歌了。中國的變化，從現在看過去，即便只十年，也那麼巨大。
甚至，網上還流傳說法，共產黨內部文件建議給黨員以信教自由。但以我的理解，繼承鄧小平的傳統，現在中共政府，採取的策略，往往是，先做，不說，降低影響。）
我本可以指出，在春天時，即便校園裡的宣傳喇叭，也經常放莫扎特版本的「那個孩子哪兒去了」，作為中午娛樂節目的一個部分。但我知道這爭論是沒用的；在這種事里根本無邏輯可言。以同樣的無厘頭精神，我指導我的班級，用一首共產黨的愛國歌曲，替代了聖誕頌歌，這可能是對狄更斯的作品最沒提升價值的了。我最喜歡的那一幕戲，乃是一個狂怒的思科魯喬，揮著他的拐杖，向著一個快樂演奏著「東方紅」歌隊，一邊唱著歌頌毛澤東，而另一邊，那老人大吼道，「漢堡包！」
我們和行政方的問題，大多比那個更荒謬，而且，很少是關於重要的事情：對於教唱聖誕頌歌，我實在也不怎麼關心。然而，過了一年半，我以為部分的尷尬感已經不在了；我們本可以成為好朋友，對於不那麼重要的事情，進行自如的交流。
但其他的限制就不是小事了。桑尼與諾林的漢語家教是兩個年輕女人，來自英文系，在學習過程中，她們成了好朋友。在那個春天裡的一個節日，其中一個老師請她們兩人去她家，然而，最後一刻，她反悔了，解釋說去她家的路出了點問題。這很奇怪——春天的雨還沒來，沒理由馬路會被衝掉。後來，我們了解到，系裡的官員向那年輕老師發出指示，不要請外國人去她家裡。表面看，他們是擔心桑尼與洛林會出什麼事，而那老師要負責。但更大的可能是，這指令源於同一種莫名其妙的猜疑症，從一開始就懸在我們的頭上——總覺得外國人很有政治風險，應該保持距離。
（同樣的，我的想法是，中國在發生變化。在私營商業部門，這種管理指令肯定不會發生，而隨著中國社會趨於私營化，中國人的自由在增多，以及政府部門的管轄權力，範圍，在縮小。）
這種指令總是在我們的背後發生，這是最糟糕的部分。它把猜疑症轉移到我們這邊了，發展到我們過度分析每一次小小的交談，每一個微小的變化，尋找人為操控的痕迹。當桑尼與諾林告訴我時，我的第一反應，就是衝去了當地汽車站，而司機們跟我說的和預料的一樣——道路沒有問題，這就是說，學校里有人對桑尼諾林她們說了謊。這是每一個共產主義系統的經典範式，恐懼與猜疑，從一個層面傳導去下一個層面，製造出一個互不信任的網路。
（猜疑症，恐慌症，PARANOIA，在當今中國，還普遍存在，不僅是政府層面，在網路上也有很多來自民眾的聲音。近期的經典案例，就是西藏事件。一般說來，孤立的社會，孤立的人，和外界缺乏交流的，比較容易陷入這種癥狀。）
但我們逐漸發現，這種不信任，我們的猜疑症，是有依據的。我們有朋友來告訴我們事情乃是如何運作，而我們受到控制的程度有點驚人。當電影鐵達尼號在春天上映時，有一個同事邀請我們去他家，在VCD上看片，但再次的，這邀請在最後時刻取消了。後來，他直率地解釋道，幹部們害怕外國人發現這片子被盜版了——一個可笑的掩飾，在涪陵任何地方，你都不可能不見到鐵達尼號的盜版碟，小販們把碟片都塞到我鼻子下了。這片子非常受歡迎，在當地戲院，掛了一幅非常大的推銷板，上面結合了宣傳與廣告：
富通珠寶店是鐵達尼號的唯一贊助商
國家主席與黨書記江澤民推薦
現在，系裡的指令經常是雙重的自我欺騙：我們不但知道電影被盜版，我們也清楚看到了學校是如何想要操縱我們周圍的世界。與此同時，我們也看出，這種控制很缺乏持續性，因為在許多方面，學校又給了我們很大的騰挪空間。在我們的教學上，這一點就特別真，邏輯上來說，這方面應當是我們最受限制的領域才對。除了偶爾的小事故，比如亞當的講座，以及狄更斯的戲劇，我們的教學自由度，比在美國還大。沒有人來查看我們的大綱，或者就教學內容來找麻煩，我們完全按照我們的意願去編排課程。我尤其敬佩的是，他們居然讓我們上英語文學與美國文化課，那裡面不免時常有弦外之音，涉及政治。
在大多數方面，他們待我們不錯，而且，考慮到涪陵的偏遠，外國人很少，他們對我們也算給予不少信任了。然而，那最後小小的幾步，依然沒有邁出，這讓人感到更加沮喪，因為更重大的壁壘已經不在那兒了。到春季時，我意識到，我在涪陵期間，這些最後的障礙不會移除，我嘗試不去想它了。生活的其他方面比從前好多了。
特別是我們和學生的關係，在第二年里，改善了許多。很大程度上是亞當的緣故，他總是一個很盡心的教師，花了很多額外的時間與同學們一起，幫助他們在我們辦公室里建立起一個圖書館。他是第一個真正贏得同學們信任的外國教師，而由於在同學們心目中，我們兩個幾乎區別不開來，很自然的，他們也將這份信任延伸到我身上。
而時間也起到了作用——他們已經認識我們兩年了。這並不僅僅是因為他們學會接受外國人；我們的改變非常大，現在，對於如何跟他們接近，我們學會了很多。他們依然喜歡我們的非正式感，隨意感，這一點，從一開始就把我們和其他老師區別開來。但他們也知道，我們可以變得嚴肅，認真，而在那些時候，我們並不是宣傳人員；特別是，當討論美國的時候，我們往往會很直率。那個學期，我教了「德賽爾的寶寶」，以及蘭頓休斯，而亞當的美國文學課集中於民權運動。他對那個部分毫不避諱，放了一段錄像，是詹姆斯梅里迪斯躺在密西西比的高速公路旁，被一個種族主義狙擊手打死在那兒。學生們知道，沒人強迫亞當去放那些片子——他可以上一些關於美國的正面課程，關於它的成功之處，在科技，或者經濟，教育方面——亞當的這種行為，讓同學們更願意去誠實討論他們覺得重要的話題。
另一個重大的區別，是我們現在能說中文了。在秋季時，我開始跟幾個同學用中文交流，當我在課堂外碰見他們時。因為他們想聽聽我學了些什麼。而隨著時間過去，我發現，這不僅僅是出於新鮮感；像我一樣，在說中文時，他們變得截然不同。他們感覺放鬆多了，而這不單是語言的問題；這也有政治意味。
在亞當父母離開後的一個晚上，我在學生之家吃飯，這時，吉米，莫，還有佐治來了。他們是我最喜歡的幾個三年級學生，我們用英語稍稍聊了會兒。他們問到亞當的父母喜不喜歡涪陵，我說喜歡的，除了對幹部的印象外。
他們三個靠近來。「為什麼？」吉米輕聲問道。我用英文回答：「因為他們覺得外辦的人對他們不禮貌，而且他們也不理解為什麼。」
「我們外辦幹什麼了？」
現在我用中文回答，講了那個故事。在中國，讓某個人的父母不愉快，是很大的不尊重，在學生們眼裡閃現出失望。我坦率地告訴了他們我對系裡的看法，以及那些小事件如何隨時間累積起來。莫和佐治都是黨員；一年前，我絕不會如此誠實地跟他們交談。但用中文交談，讓每個人都更自在了，也包括我。
隨著我在課堂外與學生的交流更頻繁，我發現這種模式多麼有用：每當有敏感話題，我們就用中文。這讓我驚訝，因為英語本可作為我們的秘密工具——在校園外，幾乎沒人聽得懂我們在說什麼，用它來討論上述話題是最安全的，不怕有人聽到。但即便在這麼一個擁擠的餐館裡，說到關鍵處，我們轉向中文，我們談到政治，或者性，或者我們和學校的關係。即便最好的學生也經常這麼轉換語言，儘管他們的英語比我的中文好得多。
終於，我意識到，那懼意，不是說怕別人偷聽。關鍵是他們要覺得舒服自在，因為那些帶有不確定性的話題，用他們的本國語言來處理更容易一些。但我也察覺到，真正的懼意，他們真正怕的，是他們自己：幾乎所有的限制，都建立在他們自己的頭腦意識中（自我審查）。英語是在學校里學的，是以它就跟這個教育系統不可區分，跟學校的政治管治緊密聯繫。當他們說英語時，警鐘會自然在他們腦中敲響——這是門學校語言，也是外國人的語言，這雙重的背景下，他們已習慣于謹慎了，無論是想，還是說。一旦我發覺到這些限制是內在的，我開始想，對於那些壞幹部來說，情形是否也一樣。也許，他們只是存在於好乾部腦子的一個角落裡，一種煩人的畏懼，抵消了每個人的良好意圖。

中文版第98頁，講到何偉堅決拒絕X射線體檢，這是為什麼呢？

何偉的中國三部曲，都非常不錯，推薦閱讀。

如果想從個人視角對1990-2000年的中國有一個細膩、生動的了解，中國三部曲不可錯過。