2 Quick Changes That Help Your Dating Profile Convert

Online dating is already the state of dating in our generation. We meet people online, develop a conversation, and then meet in person and see how it goes. A dating profile serves as your dating resume and also provides talk points for the two strangers. Being honest and showing your openness is where we start with the profile. But this is not all that we write.

2 biggest problems for dating profiles: being too generic and being too tacky.

Think of dating profiles as resumes. When you are writing resumes, you need keywords and stats to demonstrate your eligibility. Same with your dating profiles. Here you need to frankly reveal yourself in multiple dimensions. Not only do you upload multiple photos and reveal your education and occupation background, but you also need to write descriptive points that reflect who you are.

The text description is commonly the most neglected but also one of the most important parts of a dating profile. Many people miss this precious opportunity to pitch themselves to the other person on the other side of the screen. A complete profile with complete text descriptions that answers all pre-set questions also shows commitment. This step, while sometimes seemingly daunting, is actually still less effort than going on the date itself.

Many people might not feel like talking about themselves, especially pitching to a total stranger. They write blurry words to escape from an embarrassed self-introduction. But as both you and anyone else can see, a quickly written profile doesn』t do you justice.

Take my friend XM as an example. When he first drafted his dating profile, he described himself as a comic lover, a home cook, and a movie fan. Given that he』s a data scientist by training, having diverse hobbies should make him stand out. But it didn』t. He gave a generic response: 「love comic books, cooking, and movies.」

Girls browse dating apps the same way they do with Instagram or BuzzFeed, either looking at good photos or having a good laugh. When you give people so little information, it』s impossible for them to give you a fair evaluation or give you a chance for a fair evaluation.

XM and I sat down and dug deeper into each of his points. With more details, his cooking hobby reads like this: 「I make perfect medium rib eye steaks, pancakes with Nutella, and salmon poké bowls.」 Naming some dishes certainly gave weight to his answer. Broad interests also make people relate to it.

Tip #1: Use every opportunity to pitch yourself, utilizing photos and texts. Be descriptive in your self-introduction.

When you learn to give your response in great detail, another problem pops up: how do you stand out and not be too tacky?

There are 8 million New Yorkers, and the great majority love Central Park. Writing 「I love Central Park」, or even 「I love Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis Reservoir in the summer」 does not sound not novel at all.

That leads to my tip #2 : talking about who you will be like when people are with you. So the best practice is to replace all the adjectives you want to use to describe yourself with small incidents/anecdotes. Say you like music, specifically jazz music. You can easily elevate your profile to read 「next goal: get the ticket to Woody Allen』s jazz performance in Cafe Carlyle」.

Tip #2: When sharing your hobbies, not only do you share what you like, but also tell people how it』s like to be with you.

Examples:

When you like to travel… Write about your most recent trip, your next trip, your most memorable trips, or your backpacking trips. So when people match with you and start the conversation, you can dive into some of your beautiful memories together.

When you like to eat… Write about your favorite brunch place in town, a restaurant you want to check out, or your favorite cuisine. Don』t just say 「I』m a foodie」 because let』s face it, being a foodie doesn』t sound sexy or attractive. Sharing restaurant and food you like also pivots the conversation to when you and your match are deciding where to meet. You can suggest the place you wrote as a first date place, and the other person will appreciate you taking the initiative.

Hi! My name is @鄭惠文 . I』m a volunteer dating strategist in New York City. Since 2015, I wrote dating profiles for friends and boosted their match rate significantly. I help people optimize their photos and introductions for dating profiles and also provide suggestions that help retain dates. I』m currently planning on writing a series of online dating articles. Follow me in Medium.

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