美國六年級小盆友寫的愛情故事 [美國老師如何教寫作2]

01-28

我當年在念加州教師資格證的時候，在洛杉磯學區一所小學實習。該校地處市中心（髒亂差），是所96.6%的學生都要申請免費或降價午餐的學校（貧困率的參考）。校長讓我去了他們的最好的班——honored class，一個班有39個孩子！（美國一般是25-30個左右）。

我給六年級小盆友們組織了一個寫作研討會（writing workshop）——美國最近比較流行的一種新型寫作課模式，主要由三個部分組成：mini lesson + student writing + author』s chair。也就是老師講個10分鐘左右的課，解決一個知識點，然後讓學生據此寫作練習，然後讓志願者坐到前面的「作者椅子」上進行分享，下面的小盆友要提問，分享自己最喜歡的片段。我根據老師的要求，教的是writing under the influence of literature，也就是給學生讀一篇文章，讓他們感受一下好的文學是什麼樣子的，然後寫一篇文章。表問我為嘛跟神馬也沒教一樣。。。這只是作為評量學生水平的一種方法，通過這種方法了解未知學生的水平。

我先是讀了一篇文章：女媧造人的英文版 Nuwa Creates People（這本書寫得非常好，文字超級優美，我附在文末了，乃們可以看看米國初中生的閱讀水平是個什麼level），然後讓他們編一個神話傳說，然後他們班回答問題最踴躍的一個學生寫了這篇感人的耐情故事——《太陽和月亮》。

還是老樣子，你先看看自己是否看得懂，再看我的「翻譯」。六年級比一年級的小盆友們拼寫錯誤少多了。

好啦，就知道你沒看就直接拉下來了，乖，回去好好看，這點都hold不住將來比這字寫得更粑粑的你腫么辦，還當不當老師了。。。

我只把拼寫稍微改了一下，便於大家閱讀，沒有改語病什麼的。

Sun & Moon

Sun was a happy, energetic, bright girl. Moon was a sad, lazy, angry boy. They never talk only every 100 years. They talk because moon always stops for a break every year and every year he gets closer to her but then sun speeds up to go in front of him. Sun jumped, and hoped, and twirled, as moon walked, crawled, and fell.

Sun felt heart broken for moon. She always want to talk to him but they have to help all the little people on earth. She always has to wait 100 years. She wants to encourage him but he doesn』t listen. One time sun talked to moon and she cried he listened and he always tried his best know even if it will kill him from all his injuries of his falls because he will always love her even if they』re different. They will be in love for(ever).

最後一句話他給擦了，但是還沒擦乾淨，我也不知道為嘛，但是我給補上了。我是讀到後來才注意到太陽原來是個女的，月亮是個男的！我反正是覺得這孩子挺有編故事的天賦的，覺得是班裡寫得最好的一篇，所以拿來和大家分享一下~ 乃們看完感想如何？歡迎給我留言告訴我~

我以前還寫過一篇《你看得懂美國小學生的作文喵？[美國老師如何教寫作1]》，講的是美國老師更關注孩子要表達的內容，而非語法拼寫等形式問題，有興趣可以看一下~

下文是我給他們念的女媧造人的英文原版，節選自Chinese Methology Rocks!中的Nuwa Creates People，作者是Irene Dea Collier。本書開篇是盤古開天闢地，第二篇就是我節選的女媧造人。一個外國人把中國的神話描寫得如此優美，讀起來簡直讓人慾罷不能！喜歡該書可以點擊Google Book預覽。

Nuwa Creates People

by Irene Dea Collier

The world was indeed a sparkling jewel. Sturdy pine trees dotted the mountains, and weeping willows lined the streams. Apple, quince, and plum blossoms burst into bloom and later yielded ripe, heavy fruit. Birds flitted about in the azure sky, leaving their black, crimson, and iridescent green feathers drifting in the wind. Silverfish and carp splashed gleefully in the waterways. Fierce beasts like tigers and gentle creatures like deer roamed with equal abandon across the rocky hills.

Nuwa, a goddess, stumbled accidentally upon this vibrant world during her travels. The earth was humming and teeming with life. She marveled at its many wondrous creatures. Everywhere she looked, she found a creature more marvelous than the one before. She saw every type of fur and fin, feather and scale, horn, hoof, and stinger. Creatures lumbered, crawled, and slithered upon the earth. They jumped, darted, and roiled in the sea. Scented flowers like jasmine, hyacinth, and narcissus wrapped the entire world in their warm, strong perfume.

But as she explored its niches and crannies, Nuwa began to feel strangely dissatisfied with the budding world. The goddess found it to be enchanting, but empty. It felt lonely to Nuwa, who sat by a river to ponder her feelings. She gazed at her reflection in the knew what was missing: She wanted the world to be filled with thinking, laughing creatures like herself.

The river stretched out before her, its waves slapping the shore. The cloudy green waters left a rim of thick yellow earth along its banks. Nuwa felt its slippery texture with her fingertips and scooped out a ball of clay. The cool, sticky earth deposited by the river was perfect for her task, and she rolled the damp clay into a doll, giving it a head, shoulders, chest, and arms like her own. For the dolls lower body, she hesitated. Nuwa considered giving it scales and claws like a lizard, or fins and tails like a fish. Both shapes were quite useful, since the goddess frequently changed the shape of her own lower body to be able to get around the oceans and the heavens quickly. Finally, she decided to attach legs to the new creature so it could both walk on land and paddle about in the sea.

From the many shades of yellow earth, Nuwa made tall dolls and short dolls. She made thin dolls and fat dolls. She made curly-haired dolls and straight-haired dolls. She made dolls with eyes as lonely and large as cherries, some with eyes as long and narrow as a mosquitos wing. She made some with eyes so dark they looked like the midnight sky, others so light they looked like liquid honey. Each creature was different, so the goddess could recognize her creations. Then, as she breathed on each doll, it sprang to life, giggling and hopping about.

Nuwa was so delighted with her handiwork that she wanted to make more. But she needed a quicker method. Along the riverbanks, slender reeds arched their graceful stems over the water. Nuwa rolled up her sleeves, cut a reed, and dipped it into the river mud like a spoon. Expertly, she flicked her wrist and dropped blobs of mud on the ground. When they dried, she breathed a huge puff of air into each blob, and instantly they became round, smiling creatures. The cheerful laughter of her creatures filled the goddess with happiness and pride.

However, Nuwa was tired. As much as she loved her new creations, she knew she could not watch over these humans every second. What would happen to these creatures when they grew old and died? Nuwa did not relish making repairs, nor did she wish to repeat the tinny task of making new people. She thought and thought. How could these creatures reproduce without her?

With a twist and a poke, she made some of the clay creatures male and some of them female. Then she gathered up all the noisy creatures who were slipping and falling in the mud. In the hubbub, she began to deliver her most important instructions. As Nuwa spoke, the clamor died down to a silent hush. The humans listened solemnly to her words. She spoke of the importance of marriage and a couples obligations to each other. She told them how to make children and how to raise them. She wished them a long and joyful existence on their earth. As the goddess left, she expressed her fervent hope that they would make she new people and live happily without her. Then ascended to the sky seated in a thundering chariot pulled by six winged dragons.

To this day, people continue to marry and have children who brighten the world with their joyous laughter, just as the dancing mud dolls did in the days of Nuwa.

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