今年最喪的45句話全在這 | 附獨家英譯

話說，傳說中的喪茶終於在上海開張了，簡直不要太火，

最近，這種唯恐天下不亂的人又開起了「愛無能小酒館」，

喪能力有過之而無不及，

似乎一夜間全國人都不喝雞湯了，全都一轉身喜歡上了破罐子破摔。

這也不難理解啦，

人生已經如此艱難，何不落井下石？？

為了順應這種歷史潮流，滬江君給大家搜羅來了今年最喪的45個句子，

祝大家喪得精緻。

01. 失敗並不可怕，可怕的是你還相信這句話。

Failure is not horrible.

Whats horrible is that you believe this.

02. 你以為有錢人很快樂嗎？他們的快樂你根本想像不到。

You think the rich are happy?

No, the way theyre happy is beyond your imagination.

03. 你們之所以喝雞湯，是因為肉被別人吃了。

You have chicken soup for the soul.

Because someone else already ate the chicken.

04. 條條大路通羅馬，而有些人就生在羅馬。

All roads lead to Rome.

Yet, some people have been living there ever since they were born.

05.

別灰心

人生就是這樣起起落落落落

落落落落落落落落落落落落落落落落落落落落落落

Dont be discouraged.

Life is full of ups and downs,

and all the downs after those downs.

06. 有些人出現在你的生命里，是為了告訴你：你真好騙。

Some people come to you in your life to make you know that you are such an easy target.

07. 比一個人吃火鍋更寂寞的是，一個人沒有錢吃火鍋。

What makes one even lonelier than having chafingdish alone?

That you cant even afford the chafingdish.

08. 你不努力一下，怎麼知道什麼叫絕望呢？

If you dont try, how can you know what it feels like to be desperate?

09. 男女之間一定有純真的友誼，因為每一個認識我的女生都說最多只能跟我做朋友。

There has to be real friendship between boys and girls.

Because every girl I know told me that we could only be friends.

10. 比爾·蓋茨休學創業成了世界首富，但人家休的是哈佛大學。

Bill Gates became the richest man by dropping out of school and starting his own business.

But the school he dropped out is Harvard.

11. 不要沒完沒了地修圖，現實中長得不好看我們都知道。

Dont photoshop yourself again and again.

We know you look ugly in reality.

12. 你無法用錢買到幸福，因為你沒有錢。

You cant buy happiness with money because you dont have money.

13. 最怕你一生碌碌無為，還安慰自己平凡可貴。

The worst nightmare is that you achieve nothing in your life and manage to believe its a blessing to be common.

14. 不要看別人表面上一帆風順，實際上，他們背地裡，也是一帆風順。

Some people seem to have everything. In fact, they do have everything.

15. 受夠了又肥又丑的自己嗎？快去健身房吧，光丑就行了

Tired of being fat and ugly? Then go to the gym. Just be ugly!

16. 你無法叫醒一個不回你消息的人，但是紅包可以。

You cant wake up someone who doesnt want to text you back.

But money can.

17. 雖然你單身，但你胖若兩人。

Though youre single, you occupy twice the space.

18. 好女孩只得到了好字，而漂亮女孩卻得到了所有。

A good girl has good reputation.

A pretty girl has everything.

19. 愛笑的女生運氣不會太差。說實話，如果一個女生運氣一直不好，我不知道她怎麼笑得出來。

A girl who laughs a lot usually has fortune on her side.

Seriously, I dont know how someone can manage to laugh if she got screwed by life.

20. 像我這種連名牌都不認識幾個的人，有時候連別人在炫富都感覺不到。

With such limited knowledge of brands, I cant even recognize when some people show off their wealth.

21. 當你覺得自己又丑又窮、一無是處時。別絕望，因為至少你的判斷還是對的

If you feel ugly, poor and useless, dont be devastated. At least you have good judgement.

22. 喜歡一個人就去表白，萬一成備胎了呢。

If you have a crush on somebody, go tell that person.

Theres a chance that you become the Plan B.

23. 哪有什麼選擇困難症，還不是因為窮。

There is no such a thing called allodoxaphobia.

You are just being poor.

24. 你只知道人家化妝比你好看。卻不知道，她們卸了妝，不僅比你好看，皮膚還吹彈可破。

You only know that they look prettier than you in their make-up.

What you dont know is: underneath those make-up, not only are they prettier than you, they also have perfectly good skin.

25. 為什麼總是天妒英才呢？因為沒人管笨蛋活多久。

Why does fate always mess up with geniuses?

Because no one bother caring about idiots.

26. 當上帝給你關上一扇門，他還會順便把窗子也一起關了。

When God closes a door for you, hed close the windows all together.

27. 一些人常會被罵，說每天像豬一樣愛睡懶覺。真的是太委屈了，豬都比你起得早。

Some people are said to be like pigs because they sleep too much.

Thats not fair, pigs get up earlier.

28. 學校的廁所為什麼放鏡子？是為了讓你知道：人丑就要多讀書。

Why do schools install mirrors in the restrooms?

Because they want you to know: with such unsatisfying appearance of yours, your only chance is to study.

29. 人生很多事，終究會隨著時間好起來。比如很多人原本只是胖，久了就變好胖。

Things do get improved as time goes by.

For example, some people were fat and they got fatter and fatter.

30. 這段日子迷茫又黑暗，撐過去了會有下一個黑暗等著你。

Days are dark and troubled now.

Just keep going, so you can see more darkness beyond them.

31. 生活不止眼前的苟且，還有前任的喜帖。

Life is not all about the muddle that you see, but also the ones that you will see, such as your exs wedding invitation.

32. 許多人說北上廣深機會多，但沒人說那是你的呀！

People say there are more opportunities in the metropolises.

But did anybody ever say they were yours?

33. 誰說你沒有毅力的？單身這事你不就堅持了好幾十年么。

Who said you lack perseverance?

You managed to be single for decades!

34. 女追男隔層紗，那得男的本來就對你有好感，不然隔的基本都是鐵絲網，還是帶電的那種。

They say its easy for a girl to pursue a man, easy like poking through a veil.

But that has to be when the man already has a crush on you.

Otherwise what you need to poke through would be a bunch of barbed wire with electricity running through.

35. 當你失敗的時候，身邊會有一群關心你的人，他們會問你發生了什麼，聽聽你的失敗經驗，然後心滿意足地離開。

When you fail, there will be people who cares.

They come and ask.

They listen.

And they leave with satisfaction.

36. 等你老了，走不動了。我就每天用輪椅推你到廣場上去，讓你看著我和別的老頭跳舞。

When you get old and lose the ability to walk, I will take you to the plaza in a wheelchair day by day to make you watch me dance with other old men.

37. 有的人是來愛你的，有的人就是來給你上課的。

Some people come to love you.

Some people come to make you question life.

38. 如果一個人秒回了你，只能說明這個人在玩手機。

If someone text you right back, well, you can be sure he happens to be using his phone.

39. 你以為他是不會表達，其實他只是不想跟你講話。

You think he is being clumsy with words.

But the fact is he just doesnt want to talk to you.

40. 喜歡一個人一定要去表白。不被拒絕一下，你還真以為自己是小仙女呢

If you have a crush on someone, do tell him.

Because without his rejection, youd really see yourself as Cleopatra.

41. 你努力過後才發現，智商的鴻溝是無法逾越的。

You try.

And you learn that IQ is not something you can work on.

42. 你才二十多歲，沒有遇到喜歡的人很正常。往後你會發現，大概是遇不到的。

You are just 20.

Its absolutely common that you havent had any crush on anybody.

Sooner or later youll know, its totally possible that you wont, ever.

43. 單身沒關係，以後單身的日子還長著呢！

Its alright to be single.

Anyway, youre gonna be like that for a long long time.

44. 以前覺得靠關係的人一定很無能，接觸過後發現人家樣樣比你強。

You think people who take advantage of their relationships are without merit.

After you meet one, youll know you have none of their merits.

45. 不努力的女生，會有買不完的地攤貨、逛不完的菜市場；努力的女生，你就沒時間逛地攤了，因為你只能加班叫外賣、逛網店！

Girl, if you dont work hard, youll spend your life buying cheap products and groceries.

But if you work hard, you wont have time for all this!

You can only work overtime and buy things online!

有哪條戳中你了嗎？

是不是很驚喜？是不是很刺激？

不過不管怎樣都要堅強地活下去哦~