傾盡所有,追了9個月,旅行表白送戒指被嫌棄一腳踢飛!那一刻,終於認清這個女人
好吧!你們點進來的時候肯定會以為這又是個喜聞樂見的萬年備胎會錯意被女神拋棄的凄慘故事,但實際上讓你們失望了,嘻嘻···其實,這是個我給傻逼女盆友送驚喜最後變驚嚇的狗血故事,是的,我想搞個大新聞(ㄒoㄒ)/~~至於為啥要說自己的女盆友是傻逼?不嫌棄的話請聽我慢慢道來,故事曲折離奇,峰迴路轉,看完後保證你們會回過神來認同我的女盆友是傻逼···
泰國甲米的夏天格外悠長,我和傻逼女盆友乘坐著小香蕉船,伴隨著清涼的海風,來到了攀岩聖地,準備嘗試各自人生第一次的極限挑戰。經過前兩次的攀岩和學習,我們大概掌握了攀爬要領,教練決定讓我們嘗試挑戰一下四層樓高的懸崖。
我率先爬上了這座高峰,打算放一盒早已準備好的戒指在懸崖上,等傻逼女盆友爬上懸崖的最高峰時,看到這盒戒指驚喜的樣子,想想都覺得我這個男人爆會搞爛漫了有沒有!!!
放之前我往下瞄了一眼,看到傻逼女盆友剛好被別的事物吸引住了,我趕緊從口袋掏出一盒紅色的戒指盒,並和拉我繩子的教練對了對眼神,教練露出一種我懂了的眼神!
放好後我迅速降落,並哄了好久這傻逼女盆友,她才願意爬上去(由於在第二次嘗試攀岩的時候她左手不小心受傷了,還有些紅腫,本來有了這個意外後,我打算戒指另找辦法送,但她表示能攀這座高峰後,我才決定放戒指,沒想到···我放完戒指下去後她竟然又反悔不願意爬了,這臭娘們!你不爬上去我那戒指腫么辦?!(ㄒoㄒ),所以今天她必須給我爬上去!!)
歷經長達二十多分鐘,兩個教練協力合作之下(非常感謝兩個教練在我女盆友爬不上去的時候幫忙),半拉半爬她總算上去了···
(攀爬過程示意圖 1) (攀爬過程示意圖2)而我在此期間,顫抖地拿著手機記錄著這歷史一刻!心情非常緊張,一直在幻想她爬上去後看到紅色盒子,好奇的打開,然後淚流滿面的樣子,一想到這畫面我一個大男人都快要被自己感動哭了···嗯!非常好!這一切貌似都在我的掌握之中,幻想雖性感,現實卻很露骨,萬萬沒想到,我忽略了最重要的一點,那就是!忘了計算傻逼女盆友的智商值了···
眼看著傻逼女盆友已經爬上了那塊放戒指盒子的平坦石頭上,但她並沒有伸手去拿,而是選擇緩緩站了起來。
我看到這一幕心中想:也是哦!畢竟不知道這是什麼,總不能看到什麼就撿什麼吧?她又不知道是我的小驚喜,想到這裡,我默默地給傻逼女盆友的高尚素質點了個贊!
然後我清了清喉,大聲喊:「寶貝!你看到上面有個盒子嗎?」
傻逼女盆友指著腳底:「嗯?看到啦」
我,心情忐忑:「那你把它撿起來呀!」
機智的教練:「Surprise !To give you 」
傻逼女盆友,淡定回頭道了句:「What? Are you kidding me? 」
此時,我又不想那麼快讓傻逼女盆友知道這是我送給她的驚喜,我希望能按著我內心的劇本發展,等她打開盒子的那一刻自然會知道是我乾的好事了!所以,我靈機一動:「寶貝!你把它撿起來唄!教練讓你把它帶下來哦」
傻逼女盆友聽到後,很乖很懂事,讓撿才撿!
我從下面激動的看著她試圖彎腰把腳下的盒子撿起來,唉!空間太小!彎不下來,再試試!還是不行呀!!!
(彎腰撿戒指失敗圖)然後她當著底下全部看戲人的面,做出了一個驚為天人的舉動!!!!!她直接把戒指盒子踢下來了······ 把戒指盒子踢下來了······ 戒指盒子踢下來了······ 戒指踢下來了······ 踢下來了······下來了······
(動作利索) (毫不猶豫)(眼神堅定)
我目瞪口呆·····
而她,踢完後低頭滿意的看著我·····迷之笑臉·····
這表情!!!是想要我誇她剛才的舉動很機智是吧 ??!
旁邊的教練已經笑成狗了!!!他搖著食指,說:「She doesnt like you !hahahahaha!」
(我haha你妹圖···)
我灰溜溜的撿起沾滿沙的戒指盒子, 抬頭看著她苦笑道:「寶貝···你···你踢下來幹嘛?」
她仰天長喊:「我恐高哇!」
(這和恐高有啥關係圖)話音未落,她拿起綁腰間的gopro自拍了幾張··· 然後英姿瀟洒的滑下來了···
等她下來後我再重新把盒子遞給她,她才反應過來原來是我故意擺在那給她的驚喜(後來她給我的解釋是,她剛看到的時候以為是泰國佛教的擺在那,是一種當地習俗,所以她不敢碰···好吧,暫且原諒這個傻逼女盆友!)最後來一張我們倆和戒指的合照O(∩_∩)O~~
(請忽略我吧···)
如果故事講到這裡就結束的話,那就太小看我那傻逼女盆友了!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
接著說,由於訂了第二天中午甲米飛回廣州的機票,早上八點多我們就起床了,打算美美的洗個臉去吃個自助早餐,回來再慢悠悠的收拾行李。洗刷過程中,傻逼女盆友說想試試中指戴戒指是什麼效果,然後從無名指上取了下來套進中指。
我在一邊看她塞塞塞···挺吃力的,就說:「算了吧~尺寸不對就別勉強啦,免得···」
我巴拉巴拉還沒說完,她倒吸了口氣,一鼓作氣硬是把戒指塞進去了,然後得意洋洋的舉起左手在那臭顯擺: 「怎樣?好看不??」
嗯,確實挺好看的
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最後再寫幾句: 當時女盆友戒指脫不下來了,我倆嘗試過用肥皂、沐浴露都沒能把戒指給弄下來。看著手指越來越紅腫,中午又要趕飛機,心情有點著急了,急忙跑去酒店附近的7仔店,一位非常熱心的員工阿姨見狀,立馬給我們裝了一桶冰水(止腫)然後開了一瓶潤滑液幫我們弄。
後來還是取不下來···她幫我們叫了車送我們去醫院,而泰國的醫生也只懂得常規的潤滑加暴力硬扯,女盆友都要痛哭了···然後我在網上搜到中國消防隊有一種獨特的紅線取戒指技巧,據說非常管用,但當時女盆友的手指已經紅腫得可怕,關節部分已經有些發黑了,使用紅線取戒指也沒法取下來···眼看著女盆友的中指被醫生弄得越來越糟糕,我實在不忍再這樣折騰下去,當機立斷跟醫生說直接鋸斷戒指吧!
然後,醫生從醫務室里掏出一把鋸木頭的鋸子···當時的情況緊急,需要我幫忙按住女盆友的左手,不然鋸子有可能會割到手,所以沒空也沒心情拍照,反正大概是這樣的一個畫面吧····
等戒指從中指里取出來後,我和女盆友心中的一塊大石頭終於落地了···然後又沒心沒肺的拍起照來啦啦啦!!!後來我們想起剛剛7仔店用了潤滑液還沒付錢呢,回到店裡,員工阿姨用英語和我們說,沒關係的,我已經付錢了,我只是想幫助你們。聽到後我和女盆友一股暖流湧上心胸,在國外人生地不熟,當時那麼無助緊急的情況下伸出雙手,真的超級超級感動的。
最後,我們還是堅持付了錢並給了阿姨一個大擁抱後才離開的O(∩_∩)O~~
你們有興趣的闊以看看我女盆友對這件事的回答:泰國有哪些不為人知卻好玩的地方? - 鄧熙妍的回答 - 知乎
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