本科轉學至國外，如何準備文書？

01-11

題主大二，準備transfer，目標是康奈爾大學的植物科學專業，2016年秋季入學，正在準備文書。我知道本科入學看重課外活動，申請研究生注重學術興趣和背景，那麼轉學去從大三讀起的個人陳述上要更著力描寫哪一塊呢？
補充：學校2+2項目，比自己申請容易些。

2016.5.18更新：題主已收到offer，謝謝大家的答案，幫了我很大的忙。

找知乎最大的旁系富二代（之一）Thiel

他輔導過的都去了top 20，收費也不貴。

美國學生應該向他學習，多輔導國內本科生來美國轉學。

這樣，許多三本學生就會多一條出路，而不是留在城鄉結合部裝逼

美本野雞大學狗怒答，

GPA&>curriculum&>推薦信&>轉學的理由&>SAT/ACT/TOEFL和課外活動。

如果題主明年入學，deadline應該是三月份。final考完了，前兩項應該已成定局。建議題主在寫essay時著重突出轉學的理由(最好不要僅僅是XX學校排名更高)，其次可以寫寫自己intern，實驗室打雜的經歷，能和自己的專業聯繫起來。對於轉學，課外活動並不重要。

題外話，聽說Cornell 對於轉學有比較嚴格的prerequisite，申請之前最好能上官網去對下，2016sp 還有彌補的機會。

轉學文書還是和傳統文書不太一樣的，我講一些可以廣泛利用的要則吧：

轉學文書要有七個基本內容：

1. 一篇好的轉學申請作文往往對需要轉學的原因有清晰而明確的陳述。

2.為什麼當初你選擇你現在所讀的學校（你要離開的那個）。

3.為什麼要離開你現在就讀的學校，選擇轉學。

4.你認為你做過的引以為傲的事情。

5.你的夢想是什麼？

6. 你認為在第一所學校里沒有得以發展的興趣愛好能在新的學校得到更加全面的開發嗎？

7.小結。

第1：建立一些自己的核心價值觀。

一篇好的轉學申請作文往往對需要轉學的原因有清晰而明確的陳述，你在這裡首先要做的就是：在文章的開篇你要給一個很棒的第一印象。而且，鑒於第一印象往往是建立在第一個30秒，並且這個印像對於招生官影響深刻，起著決定性的作用。如何做到這一點：一個有效的方法，如果可以的話，找一個你感興趣的話題，請確信你對要轉去的學校有較深的了解並在你的作文里提供細節的東西。

第2：解釋為什麼你選擇了你現在的學校（一個你要離開）擺在首位。

什麼你想在這裡做：讓讀者知道你/你為什麼在哪裡。因為，你知道，讀者可能不知道。

如何做到這一點：事實求是。簡潔明了。

第3：你要離開你現在的學校具體原因是什麼。

首先要明確：這可能是論文的最重要的部分。為什麼？從本質上講，你將需要圍繞新的大學能為你提供有意義的學術和非學術機會的事實來陳述轉學原因。雖然有點啰嗦，但有必要，轉學應該是為了你的學習或職業目標，而不是為了個人的舒適便利或者逃離目前所在學校的願望。

如何做到這一點？有三個秘訣：

考慮描述你的期望，然後讓讀者知道這些期望是否得到滿足

請給出具體原因

招生官們尋找的是能夠為校園做出積極貢獻的申請者。過於消極的申請者是不可能受到重視的

第4：展示你所做出的成績

什麼是你想要在新的學校做的，我們想聽的是你真實的聲音，你的經歷，觀點和價值觀如何塑造你的，說出來吧。積極一點，讓我們知道你更多的東西，你不是那種人遇到逆境或跑去在角落裡躲避，當你沒有得到你想要的東西，你做了什麼呢？為此承擔責任，同時，如果你認為必要，解釋一下你將計劃如何在新學校里提高自己。招生人員對於一個成熟而坦白承認其失敗之處的申請者的印象深刻程度將遠遠大於不願為自己的逆境承擔責任的申請者。

第5款：你未來想做什麼/ 想成為什麼樣的人 /想從事什麼樣的研究？（又名：你的夢想是什麼？）

你想在這裡做什麼？如何做到這一點：通過做夢。問問自己，夢想的工作是什麼 -即使它是不是你唯一的夢想的工作，即使你不是100％肯定這是你想要做什麼

第6款：如何在新的學校里利用學校資源幫助你實現自己的夢想。

下面是一個完整的例子：

1. Core values:experiential learning, multiculturalism, embracing differences

Before I could even walk, my parents instilled in me alove for history. And thanks to their passion for travel, much of my earlyeducation was experiential. At eight, I could not only recite knowledge ofCorrie Ten Boom, I"d visited the house where she"d hidden Jews in her homeduring WWII. By 10 I』d seen the Roman Ruins just outside Paris and by 11, I』dvisited Rome and Florence, and begun to develop a passion for Michelangelo. By14 I』d climbed the caverns of Mykonos and by 16 I』d walked barefoot throughIndia and jogged along the Great Wall of China.

Though moving around wasn』t always easy, travel gave me the opportunity tobecome more adaptable and resourceful, and I came to embrace differences as notonly normal but exciting. My passion for cultural experiences and historycontinued in high school, and I looked forward to more experiential learningopportunities in college.

2. Why sheinitially chose X school

One of the things that initially attracted me to BiolaUniversity was the Torrey Honors program. I also appreciated the welcomingattitude of its students, and, initially, its emphasis on Judeo-Christianvalues. But the past year and a half has given me time for introspection, and Ihave begun to see that Biola and I are not the best match.

3. A politearticulation of why she and the school are not the best match

I believe, for example, in the freedom to express love forwhomever one chooses. But on at least one occasion at Biola I』ve been reportedto my resident director for displaying physical affection toward another girland have been told I could risk expulsion if we were 「caught」 in the act. Ialso believe that one should be free to express her spiritual beliefs in anyway she chooses. At Biola, however, students are required to attend a minimumof 30 chapel events, and must pay upwards of $300 if this requirement is notmet. I』m also interested in a diversity of perspective, but faculty arerequired to teach through a Biblical lens, and over 90% of the students in mydepartment (Anthropology) are seeking to do missionary work followinggraduation. Finally, I didn』t feel the Torrey Honors Program provided the kindof experiential learning environment I was looking for.

4. How she made thebest of things--and learned some great lessons and skills!

Two highlights of my time at Biola included debate, andthe experience of founding BQU, a safe, but underground group for queerstudents. Working with the debate team has taught me how to be accountable formy own work and more humble in my losses. Working with BQU has shown me notonly the necessity of being vulnerable with others, but has also taught meskills in creating a group constitution, designing a website, and advertisingour cause in a non-inflammatory way.

5. What she wantsto do (a.k.a.: the dream)

I』ve always been interested in psychological orenvironmental root of motives, and I see myself one day working in publicpolicy. I』m seeking science and social science departments that offer bothexcellent research facilities and opportunities for practical application.

6. How she』llpursue her interests at her new school: a mini 「Why us」 essay

I am interested in the debate team at Fordham because itsJesuit tradition inspires an intellectually rigorous environment. Whilemy current team is very skilled, it does not fulfill my intellectual values; Iwant classmates who want to explore controversial topics despite their personalstances, and who want to take debate as seriously as their social lives. Mydesire to explore diversity is also reflected in my major (Anthropology), anddraws me to the Irish Studies department. I am personally looking to revive mycultural heritage, and I am also interested in helping oppressed culturesthrive. I see a need to promote how Celtic culture shaped currentAmerican society, and want to explore the gender roles of early Celtic culture.

7. And we』re out.

Although my time at Biola has been challenging, it hasgiven me time to discover my own values, ethics, and priorities. I am ready tofind a place where I can feel at home, and Fordham is a place where I canpicture myself reading Nietzsche in my dorm room or working on progressivedebate resolutions with the squad. I hope to contribute my interests and valuesto the Fordham tradition.

希望對你有幫助。有其它問題可以私信我，或者關注我們的網站主頁 - BosonEd，微信號：bosonme，或者微信平台，謝謝！

講一個真實的故事

是一個看起來不太可行的轉學申請案例

希望通過這篇案例

可以幫助大家get到轉學文書的寫作思路

-------------正文分割--------------

（1）這個申請不簡單

Mary是我之前帶過的一個學生，她剛開始找到我們的時候，已經是大三了，當她提出想轉學，而且還是轉到LAC（文理學院）時，我們都覺得很特別。

因為這個時候轉學其實不太划算（美國大學要求，轉學申請至少要在轉去的學校讀夠兩年，才能拿到Degree。而且美國大學更願意接受大一大二的轉學生，也就是去那讀大三大四），而且對於專註於本科教育的LAC更不鼓勵這種行為。所以這個申請有些難度，而且像Mary這種情況，申請研究生，提前進入背景提升階段，看起來也會更有利。

事實上轉學申請的競爭性其實比freshman還要大。有的時候並不是因為你的成績不夠好，因為你不夠優秀而被拒之門外。而是因為越是好的大學，學生的流動性越少，因此可能空出來的space越是有限的。關注本科轉學申請就能發現有很多大牛學校，因為沒有space，可能在這一年不招生，或者是只招收在美國就讀本科的學生。因此相比Freshmen申請，Transfer有更大的不確定性。

加上Mary的GPA慘不忍睹（2.7/4.0），雖然是英語授課，但英語仍然是她的短板，6.5的雅思，不到90的IBT，實在是讓人擔心。

（2）轉學文書的寫作思路

在硬體滿是硬傷的情況下，文書無疑是Mary申請成功的最重要的材料了。但問題是

怎麼才能用文書打動AO？
如何才能將各文書主題串聯起來形成一個清晰的思路？
如何用最短的篇幅讓AO能看懂我們的解釋？

也許很多人都會想著如何去合理的解釋Mary的申請，因為硬傷確實太明顯了。但是我們認為，申請不是要解釋自己！美國大學的AO們不是想知道你為什麼會有低的GPA，為什麼會有這麼多硬傷。他們真正關心的是：你是誰？你為什麼想轉學？為什麼離開自己現在的學校來我們學校？why？

所以真正的Transfer Essay和美國申請的核心理念是一致的：Be Your Personal Best!

誠然，我們會有低谷，但是不要把篇幅和精力放在這裡，因為失敗和硬傷不會因為你解釋了，就消失了。學校更關心的是你如何面對這些事情，做了什麼事情去提高自己。因此我們需要把精力放在講述自己是誰，自己做過什麼事情，自己做的這些事情對成為最好的自己，到底有什麼影響上。

的確，Mary沒有獎學金，但是她有不斷上升的GPA；的確，Mary的GPA不漂亮（甚至是難看），但是她有超出同齡人的大量的社團活動，並且取得了不錯的成績，並且對自己產生了很深的影響；的確，Mary選擇大三轉學很有爭議，但是她這個選擇是經過深思熟慮，和父母教授進行過深入討論的，並最終得到他們認同和理解的（我們也是）；的確，Mary現在的學校有著令人不滿的地方，但她非常感謝這所大學，並儘力去跟校長提出完善建議了，校長也明白，只是客觀事實（財政因素）決定這些問題短時間內無法被解救…

因此，我們只需要將自己的需求講出來，並且讓學校看到，自己的這些需求是經過自己所做所想所得出來的，並且對自己來說是合理的，並且自己的需求是現在的學校難以滿足將要去的學校可以滿足的，就可以了。

其實在申請中，寫出一篇好Essay並不是特別難，但是申請不是考寫作，學校不是看你Essay寫得多漂亮，學校更重要的是通過Essay了解申請人作為「人」的一面。所以在寫Transfer Essay的時候，只有我們能夠一直本著「Be Your Personal Best」這個理念，去展現自己，那麼才能將Why Transfer，Academic Interest，Career Plan，Experience Ability，Why XXX College這些核心問題進行很好的串聯起來。例如Mary的申請，我們通過Essay向學校講述了她因為自己在做community service和社團活動中對自己的能力和興趣有了了解（對錢不感冒），在學習中發現目前學校的教育無法滿足自己（生物，歷史，數學這些學科自己都感興趣，希望能夠有一個自主性大的教育，更全面的接觸這些領域，而目前學校只能提供更多偏商科的課程），通過講述自己希望未來進行什麼樣的學習，讓學校明白Mary對自己的選擇是經過深思熟慮的，同時對於要申請的學校也是有著全面和深入的料及的。

（3）經驗證的結果

經過並不算漫長的等待（因為申請得比較晚），Mary陸續拿到了Denison和St. Lawrence的錄取，並分別是16000和10000刀的獎學金。

雖然在申請中，確實需要用到一些技巧，比如用推薦人的推薦信幫助自己客觀的解釋自己的一些問題，並突出自己現在取得成績，打消學校對自己學習能力的擔心，比如在簡歷上明確標出每年的GPA情況，讓學校看到GPA的走勢等等。

但是我們希望能夠通過這個美國本科LAC轉學案例讓大家明白，美國高端留學申請是目前全球範圍內最人性化的申請，也是最先進的申請制度，申請技巧固然重要，但做「最好的自己」才是關鍵。看待美國申請的時候，千萬別停留在表面。知其然，不知其所以然的話，當情況發生變化時，盲目的照搬照套，機械的模仿，沒有意義。

上述我們講了轉學文書的寫作思路，具體的寫作方法，可以參考我的專欄文章：

? 如何向學校解釋你的轉學動機？

? GPA低，該如何向學校解釋？

? 如何積極「吐槽」目前的學校？

有問題可以在私信我~

=====專欄推薦=====

水嫂教你申美本 - 知乎專欄

一個留學顧問10年工作的申請經驗與心得感悟

這是我室友寫的一篇為什麼轉學到約翰霍普金斯的文章。他從美國一所普通文理學院轉到約翰霍普金斯，也同時收到布朗，賓大Offer. 文章里有一些轉學建議，有興趣的同學可以看看。

Why Hopkins? Typing this question really reminds me of the Common App essays, and yes, this kind of memory is in the 『don』t you dare talk about that』 category.

Before transferring, I was in a small liberal college in Reading, Pennsylvania. I did pretty well and had a lot of fun. Life was easy—too easy and I started hating it. I』m not saying that I am the kind of guy that needs to study 24 hours a day to avoid feeling guilty, but what I』ve realized is that your undergraduate years are the best, and it』s the only time you are given the greatest freedom and guidance to explore whatever you want. So you know there must be something wrong if you describe your undergraduate life as 「boring.」 At that time, my current curriculum, the learning atmosphere, my peers, and many other things made me realize that I needed a new start.

And so in the start of my sophomore year, I began thinking about transferring, took my SAT (Hopkins does not require it, though), and looked into different schools. To be very honest, like most, or at least some of you, Johns Hopkins University was one of the schools on my Common App list, and the main reasons were its reputation and its abundant research opportunities. I really didn』t know much about the institution when I was deciding between it and my other offers.

As an Economics major, what finally brought me to Hopkins were the school』s spirit, flexible curriculum, and the research opportunities. But it was not until I arrived here that I realized how amazing Johns Hopkins fitted me.

The first myth I would like to clarify is: Johns Hopkins is not only for science students. In fact, Hopkins was best known for its strong humanities programs before the launch of the medical school. The writing seminars major, international studies, history, and basically all other departments are all regarded as one of the strongest in the nation. Here you will find the brightest people in which ever field you are interested in.

Therefore, not being biochemistry major or a pre-med is not the reason to block you from Hopkins. Instead, Hopkins really encourages students to explore their academic interest to the widest extent. And as Hopkins students, we are given an edge, being able to do just that thanks to the flexible distribution requirement. At Hopkins, graduating on time and taking the classes you actually enjoy are never in conflict.

I serve as the best example. In my first semester, I only took 2 major classes. I even took a neuroscience class just to get a taste of it, and it tasted real bad. But it was the possibility to explore that allowed me to discover my passion in international relations. Now, I am double majoring in economics and international studies, and this would never be achievable for a transfer student not under the Hopkins spirit.

The relatively flexible curriculum, however, does not imply a laid-back life here. Saying Hopkins is easy is like a girlfriend saying she is not mad. Lie. There is certainly a level of academic intensity. Before, I was the last person you will expect to see in the library. But at Hopkins, you just really have to work hard. At Hopkins, everyone is real passionate about what they are doing. Studying here is not solely about tests and exams; it』s about passion and exploration. The study atmosphere at Hopkins is thus the quality that I found myself best fitted into. At Hopkins, studying is no longer limited to the read text, but it intrigues and trains you to think. The method of thinking is what I regarded as my biggest gain—a gain is awarded to every Hopkins student.

This winter break, I enrolled in an intersession course that explores the trend of globalization. We visited the headquarters of United Nation, Bloomberg (FYI Michael Bloomberg is an alumnus and the biggest donor of Johns Hopkins and many other BIG organizations). We also had a lot of great speakers, and the most interesting thing I have discovered is their current career seems completely unrelated to their bachelor degree. For example, three alumni who now work on Wall Street were in fact all history majors at Hopkins. When I asked about this phenomenon, I was answered with a quote that I think best represent Johns Hopkins University:

「Johns Hopkins does not simply make you a scholar in your field, she makes you the thinker of the world.」

It wasn』t until now that I knew I had made a great choice. The more I am at Hopkins, the more I realize what she can offer. I was panicked to death before I came here. I worried about everything. I worried about my future, my friends, and of course, like most of you, the city. There is one joke that I always tell my friend: One day, when I was still in Reading, PA I received a call from my mum. She somehow, and finally, realized Reading is the most dangerous and the poorest city in the United States and told me to get out of there. I did…and I am now in Baltimore. But in the end, it is really just a joke. Baltimore is a wonderful city, diverse and energetic, and really has everything you need (and more). You are just 20 minutes away from Inner Harbor, the most beautiful and delicious place I have ever been to. I mean, who doesn』t love Phillip』s Seafood and The Cheesecake Factory!

The Hopkins student body is also greatly diversified. The background, interests, activities, and opportunities here are so diverse that you will find your jackpot for sure and make tons of friends. And the social life at Hopkins is actually fun—don』t believe the rumors!

I will let Google do the rest of the tour guiding since I know you can』t wait to see my tips (some of you might even just skip all the above). Finally, here is my advice to future transfer students:

1. Come visit the campus and ask for more information. The information online is never enough for you to decide if a school is a good fit. Visiting often confirms your interest.

2. The essays: You really want to show you』ve done your research on Johns Hopkins and why it will fit your interests. (Coming for a visit is definitely beneficial as it offers you information that other candidates don』t have, and thus makes your essays stand out.)

3. The essays, pt2: You also want to show why you are a good fit for Hopkins. Do not repeat all your experiences that are already on the application. Mention those that make you a good fit for Hopkins.

4. Pay full attention to the requirements and ask if you have any uncertainty.

5. If you get in, congratulations! Be as open-minded as possible and you will find unlimited opportunities here.

Good luck to you all!

Man Yik 「Eric」 Lau

我從top15轉到哥大的

轉學得看運氣有些學校滿了也是沒辦法

文書轉學的理由一定要 detailed 很general的就別寫了

GPA 得至少3.8把我還知道top 15 4.0申 top10一個沒錄取的不過被哈佛面了因為那人essay特別糟糕

轉學文書注重學術研究，興趣方面的東西，高中生申本科課外活動比較重要，需要代寫的話可以私信

什麼學校

唔和Cornell有2+2的是農大么

Cornell農院其實還比較好申請吧你們學校的學長學姐經歷也比較多了

轉學可以去的到好的大學，寫好transfer的理由，