《Yes, Minister》和《Yes, Prime Minister》中有哪些令你印象深刻的對白或金句？
電視劇和小說均可
對白里的段子太多了，可謂俯仰皆是。
The Mirror is read by the people who think they run the country
鏡報的讀者是自以為在統治國家的人The Guardian is read by the people who think they ought to run the country衛報的讀者是自以為應該統治國家的人
The Times is read by the people who actually do run the country泰晤士報的讀者是真的統治國家的人The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country每日郵報的讀者是統治國家的人的夫人The Financial Times is read by people who own the country金融時報的讀者是手裡攥著國家的人The Morning Star is read by people who think the country should be run by another country晨星報的讀者是想把國家交給別國統治的人The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is每日電訊報的讀者是覺得我們正被別國統治的人
The Sun reads don"t care who runs the country as long as she"s got big tits太陽報的讀者不在乎誰統治這個國家，只要她前凸後翹就行J:我什麼時候才有時間回復這些信件？B:其實不用回，大臣。要是不想回就不用回，可以草擬一份官方答覆。J:官方答覆是什麼意思？B:就是回復：「大臣感謝您的來信」，再說些「正在考慮當中」之類的話。當然您也可以說「正在積極考慮當中」。J:有什麼不同？B:「在考慮當中」意思是文件已經丟了；「正在積極考慮當中」意思是我們正在找。H:如果我們停止節約運動，關閉監察辦公室，那就可以立即發布新聞通告，說您砍掉了800個職位。J:但沒人擔任過這些職位，還沒認命過誰呢。J:這樣節約就更為可觀，我們還節省了800份裁員費用。有四個詞能讓大臣採納提案，快捷，簡單，時興，便宜。還有四個詞能讓提案被大臣否決，複雜，耗時，昂貴，爭議。要徹底排除被採納的可能，就得說這決定有魄力。爭議只表示會失去部分選票，魄力表示會失掉整個大選。W:你對我的提議怎麼看？ H:很有獨創性，富有想像力。
W:你支持？J:這兩個詞是最嚴厲的批評。J:幸好多數記者素質低下，大概連今天星期三都不知道。B:今天星期四，大臣。J太太:這個職位怎麼樣？(指英國駐歐共體官員）J:慘透了。跟英國政治完全隔絕，比領爵位還慘，永世不得翻身，要想回來除非自己建個黨。J太太:這工作具體幹什麼?J:身處恐怖的歐共體官僚中心，進了保險箱，每年薪水5萬磅，報銷2萬磅，香檳，龍蝦，周遊列國， 高級酒店，豪華轎車，私人飛機，午休時間，比利時海灘度周末。
J太太:我們去看看吧？J:……好啊，偶爾失敗一下也不錯。J: 這就是公務員的問題，論資排輩，好的人才就要趕快提拔。H:沒錯，只要輪到他們。J:一派胡言，拿破崙30歲就統治歐洲了，亞歷山大20歲征服世界。H:他們做不了副秘書。J:他們沒有論資排輩。H:看看他們的下場。J:軍火賣給恐怖分子是不對的，你不懂嗎，漢弗萊？H:不，大臣，軍火要麼賣要麼不賣，賣的話總會落到出錢的人手裡。J:恐怖分子不行吧？H:我想我們可以在槍托上貼政府健康警示，「槍支嚴重損害健康」。H:我們國防政策的目的是什麼？B:保衛英國。H:不，是為了讓人相信英國受到了保衛。B:讓俄國人？ H:不是俄國人，是英國人。俄國人知道沒有。
J:外交部應該親歐洲吧？H:是，也不是。外交部親歐洲，實際上是為了反歐洲。我們團結在這一理念之下，保證共同市場不能形成。所以我們打進去。英國的外交目標500年來沒有變過：創造一個分裂的歐洲。因此，我們聯荷蘭制西班牙，聯德國製法國，聯法國和義大利制德國，聯法國制德國和義大利，分而制之。一貫效果很好，為什麼要改變？J:這都是老皇曆了吧？H:對，也是現行政策。我們得打進去，從內部攻破。我們施加過外力，沒有成效。現在可以從裡面把它攪成一鍋粥了。挑德國反法國，挑法國反義大利，挑義大利反荷蘭，外交部高興壞了，光輝歲月又回來了。J:但我們都忠於大歐州理念吧，不然為什麼要增加成員國？ H:一個道理，就像聯合國，人越多，嘴越雜，就越發雞毛蒜皮。J:這也太世故了吧。H:是的，不過我們一般稱之為外交。大臣。
第一季第五集《writing on the wall》非常精彩，看了很多遍。
大臣執意要自己起草議案削減公務員系統，小漢被逼急了甚至爆了一次粗口，把大臣都驚到了：
由於大臣的一意孤行，行政部面臨廢部危機！得知消息的眾人陷入恐慌：
最後深諳政治鬥爭的大臣想到了使用拿破崙獎要挾首相。拿破崙獎由北約頒發給對統一歐洲作出突出貢獻的人：
精彩的都收錄在維基語錄里了：http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Yes,_Minister
看了一下發現之前的答案大多是電視劇對白，其實在之後出版的根據劇本改編的小說更有意思，情節相比電視劇更完整，更加諷刺。
下面是選自《是，大臣——一位內閣大臣的日記》前兩章內容，大家喜歡看的話再繼續更新。註：「【】」中內容為本人添加，主要是情節說明。前言：編者的說明
由於哈克是新聞記者，他並不特別擅長報道事實。
除了上述不一致情況之外，還相當多地存在著政治家日記中無可避免的令人厭煩的重複的話。多年的政治鍛煉和從政經驗使哈克學會在使用一個詞就足夠了的地方用上二十個詞，在用幾千個字就足夠的情況用幾百萬字來進行口述，而且學會用語言使問題變得模糊，從而迴避問題，這樣就可以使別人難於理解。難於理解可能為某些政治家提供庇護所。因為他們在其中可以暫時求得安全。
哈克本人以多種方式處理事情，讀者得自己去判斷任何一段話是否說明了：
（1）發生了什麼事；（2）他認為發生了什麼事；（3）他樂於見到什麼事情發生了；（4）他希望別人相信發生了什麼事；（5）他希望別人相信他本人相信發生了什麼事。我們尤其感謝文官的前任首腦伯納德·伍利爵士（巴思十字勳章獲得者）。他曾是
哈克任大臣時的私人秘書。他慷慨地花費自己的時間，而且把我們所選的材料對照自己的記憶和記錄加以核實。不過我們當然要為一切錯誤和遺漏負全部責任。【為什麼電視劇中的伯納德顯得那麼人畜無害，那麼呆萌呢？根據本小說設定，這本回憶錄出版於2019年，此時哈克去世，漢弗萊身患精神病。全書內容基本由伯納德定奪，書中的形象也就可想而知了。】1．開放性政治
在今天結束前，我已聽到小道消息說比爾已受命主持歐洲事務。可憐的古老歐洲！比爾既不會講法語，也不會講德語。實際上，他甚至不會講英語！
〔我們發現了農業部常務次官安德魯·唐納利爵士致內閣秘書阿諾德·魯賓遜爵士的備忘錄。他懇求阿諾德爵士一定不讓哈克主管農業部，因為他對該部「內情」過於「清楚」。內閣文件表明：阿諾德爵士設法向首相傳達了下面的意旨：還是不讓哈克到農業部為好，因為「他對之思念過久，他也許現在已有點因循守舊了」——編者。〕【哈克在野是擔任影子農業大臣，阿諾德擔心哈克對於農業事物過於「熟悉」，難以被控制，所以阻止他前往農業部任職】
「大臣，要不要喝一杯？」
我點了點頭。「叫我吉姆。」我說。我希望彼此以名字稱呼。「是不是叫做『金』？」他顯然聽錯了，所以這樣問。「不，」我說，「是『吉姆』，叫我吉姆。」伯納德說：「反正對您都一樣。我寧可叫您大臣，大臣。」「大臣，大臣？」這使我想起《第二十二條軍規》中的梅傑少校。[3]於是我明白了他的意思。我問他：「這是不是說我該叫你私人秘書，私人秘書？」漢弗萊爵士說：「是的，去年當大臣就政府財務委員會的預算向我提出質詢時，我們的確交鋒過。他對我提出的全是我不希望人家提出的問題。」
這好極了。漢弗萊爵士顯然對我很欽佩。我試圖把這事一帶而過，便說：「反對黨就是要提令人尷尬的問題唄。」「是呀。」漢弗萊爵士說：「政府就是不予答理唄。」我感到驚訝。「可是你不是回答了我所提出的所有問題嗎？」我議論道。「大臣，您這麼認為，我很高興。」漢弗萊爵士說。我不太明白他說這話用意何在。「簡單地說，先生，我是常任國務次官，通常叫做常任秘書。這個伍利是您的首席私人秘書。我也有一個首席私人秘書，他就是常任秘書的首席私人秘書。有十名秘書、八十七名副秘書以及二百十九名助理秘書直接向我負責。普通私人秘書則直接向首席私人秘書負責。首相將任命兩名政務次官，你也將任命自己的議會私人秘書。」
「他們都會打字嗎？」我打趣說。「我們沒有一個人會打字，大臣，」漢弗萊爵士毫不猶豫地回答，「麥凱太太打字——她是您的秘書。」接著漢弗萊拿出建議草案，以便在一份白皮書中來落實我的政策。我大為吃驚，文官的效率真夠驚人。漢弗萊爵士告訴我說，他們甚至還計劃把這白皮書叫做「開放性政治」呢！所有這些草擬的建議在新政府當選36小時、在我到職幾分鐘之內就向我提供了，而且是在一個周末完成的！真是出色的人才。我問漢弗萊是乾的。
「那老掉牙齒的官僚機器，」他微笑著回答，「不，我們是認真的，大臣，我們充分理解改革的需要而且已經承擔起工作了。」我告訴他我有點驚訝。我解釋道，我把這份白皮書叫作《開放性政治》，是因為人們總是能解決標題中的小小麻煩。這比寫在法令全書中害處小。
這便是「反相關定律」：你越是不打算去干某件事，你就越是要不斷談論它。阿諾德明確指出，「開放性政治」是自相矛盾的說法：要麼搞開放，要麼搞政治。
伯納德宣稱民主國家公民有權利知道情況。我們解釋道，實際上他們有權利不去知道情況，了解情況就意味著牽連和犯罪。不知情還有些莊嚴可言。今天是蓋伊·福克斯日。辦公室里也焚燒了他的模擬像。這是強調議會和女王政府高權威的合適的日子。
文官現在向他提供所有的文件了，這使我高興，於是就這麼說了。
「這些都不是，」他嘲笑說，「不是真正的文件。」「你沒有拿到哪些真正的文件？」我想了解一下。「我又怎麼知道我沒有拿到哪些文件呢？」這話當然完全正確。而且我不知道他怎樣才能知道。〔這當然是管理顧問們稱為「冰箱內部電燈現象」的一個事例，也就是說：門關上後燈還亮嗎？要弄清楚，唯一辦法是去開門——這樣，門就再也關不上了——編者。〕我把計算機圖像顯示終端的發票給他看。他承認行政事務部已為整個白廳購買了這種牌號的機器。
「但這些機器並不是英國貨。」我向他指出。「真遺憾，是這麼回事。」他有點慚愧地表示同意我的話。「我們在伯明翰東區生產這類機器。」「質量可不一樣。」他說。這話極可能是對的，但即使是這樣，我也當然不能予以承認。「它們的質量比這更好，」我堅決地說，「它們來自我的選區。」我吩咐嘆弗萊去取消訂貨合同。「您的意思是，」漢弗萊顯然終於聽懂了，「要去把它壓下來？」我並不真正喜歡「壓下來」這字眼，但我不得不表示同意，說那正是我的意思。
漢弗萊便說出大意如下的話：「我明白了，您的提議是：我們在您已經制定的『開放性政治』指導原則的框架內，應該採取更為靈活的度。」文官極善於把簡單易解的概念遮蔽起來，使它聽起來似乎十分複雜。2．正式訪問「大臣，允許我提醒您，您要在15分鐘內會見工會大會派來的代表團，再過半小時接見英國工業聯合會代表團，並在中午12時會見國家企業局代表團。」
我更加感到絕望了。「他們都要幹什麼——簡單說一下好嗎？」我問道。「他們都對通貨膨脹、緊縮和再膨脹的機器放不下心。」伯納德告訴我說。他們當我是什麼人？一位王國大臣，還是一隻自行車打氣筒？「正式複信是什麼內容？」我很想了解一下。
伯納德解釋說，「它僅僅說，大臣要我對您的來信表示感謝。然後我們就作內容大體如下的答覆：『此事還在考慮之中。』如果我們高興的話，我們或者甚至說『此事正在積極考慮之中！』」「『在考慮之中』和『正在積極考慮之中』有什麼區別？」我問道。「『在考慮之中』是說我們已把檔案丟失了。『正在積極考慮之中』是說我們正在設法尋找它！」我想這可能是伯納德開的小小玩笑之一，不過我並不絕對有把握。應該儘早堅強起來。我決心要在部里開始用我的意圖幹下去。「伯納德，」我以堅定的口吻說，「本政府要治理國家。它不只是像我們的前任那樣當頭頭而已。當國運衰落時，得有人坐在駕駛台上，把腳放在加速器上。」
「我想您是指剎車吧，大臣。」伯納德說。於是伯納德決定對此進行解釋。「這只不過是帽子的問題。」他說。
「帽子？」我變得更加糊塗了。「是呀，」伯納德說，「他戴著政府首腦的帽子來到這兒。他同時也是國家元首。但由於他不戴國家元首的帽子。所以這次就不是國事訪問。可是外交禮儀卻要求：即使他戴著政府首腦帽子也必須受到……」我看得出他拚命要做到既不使暗喻混淆起來，又不至於放棄自己精心構成的明喻。他想出後一頂帽子後，便得意地以「……受到皇冠的迎接」來結束他的話。「大臣，」漢弗萊說，「我懇求您別把它叫作非洲彈丸小國。它是一個LDC。」
LDC對我說來是陌生的詞。布蘭達在過去似乎是被稱為不發達國家的。不過這個稱法顯然變得令人厭惡了，因此它們便被叫做發展中國家。這叫法又顯得神氣十足。於是它們便變成欠發達國家——或者簡稱LDC【Less Develeped Countries】。漢弗萊爵士認為我必須對有關非洲的術語十分清楚，否則我會造成無法彌補的損害。簡單地說，「欠發達國家」這個稱法似乎還不曾使任何人產生反感。一旦引起反感，我們就立即用HRRC【Human Resource-Rich Countries】來代替LDC。這是「人力資源豐富的國家」的簡稱。換句話說，它們是人口嚴重過剩，討錢過日子的國家。不過布蘭達卻不是一個HRRC。它也不是」富有」或者「貧窮」國家之一——我們顯然也已經不再使用這兩個稱呼了。作為替代，我們大談「南北」對話。實際上布蘭達似乎是一個「未來富有」國家，假定有這麼一個叫法，而且假定它不至引起我們的「亞非」或者「第三世界」或者「不結盟國家」兄弟們的反感的話。「布蘭達將在二三年內擁有巨大數量的石油。」漢弗萊爵士對我吐露了一個秘密。「噢，我明白了，」我說，「這樣說它根本不是一個TPLAC【Tin-Pot Little African Country】了。」漢弗萊爵士給搞糊塗了。這次破例地難住他使我感到高興。「TPLAC？」他小心地問我。「是『非洲彈丸小國』。」我解釋道。漢弗萊爵士和伯納德都嚇了一跳，他們顯得十分震驚。他們緊張地四處張望，檢查一下我的話有沒有被人家聽到。他們無疑沒有被逗樂。多無聊，都認為我的辦公室遭到竊聽了。〔也許是被竊聽了。——編者。〕【埋下一個伏筆】一個補缺選舉是由於一位議員的去世引起的。儘管他腐化、不誠實，卻仍然被重新選上，因而大吃一驚，以致心力衰竭而死亡。另外兩個補缺選舉則由於新政府成立後，有兩名議員被提升為上院議員而引起的。〔貴族爵位和（或）心力衰竭自然是對腐化和不誠實經歷的兩種最常見的獎賞啰——編者。〕
伯納德警告我說，漢弗萊在蘇格蘭這樁事情中所採取的下一步行動將是成立一個部際委員會來進行調查並提出報告。
我把部際委員會看作一個走投無路的官僚的後庇護所。當你找不出理由來反對你所不願做的事，你就成立一個部際委員會去扼殺它，慢慢地扼殺。我就這樣對伯納德說了，他同意我的觀點。「到哪裡去？」我說。接著因為明白了他的用意，又覺得自己在犯傻。我知道這是伯納德的又一個愚蠢的建議：趕緊搶先就電視新聞剛報道過的某條消息進行一次電話交談有什麼意思呢？我打通馬丁在外交部的電話。
他對於布蘭達政變的竟毫不知情，真難以置信。「你怎麼知道的？」我把消息告訴他時他問道。「是由電視台播出的。你竟然不知道嗎？你可是外交大臣呀，老天！」「是呀，」馬丁說，「不過我的電視機壞了。」我幾乎不相信自己的耳朵。「你的電視機？你是否經常接到外交部電文？」馬丁說：「是的，不過要很久以後才來。可能要三兩天後。我總是從電視聽到國際新聞的。」我想他是在開玩笑，但看來他並沒有在打趣。我說我們必須設計確保那正式訪問在任何情況下都照常進行。因為有三個補缺選舉都有賴於此。他表示同意這一觀點。我掛斷電話，不過是在我要馬丁告知我有沒有聽到進一步詳情以後才掛斷的。「沒有，是你告知我的。」馬丁說，「你是唯一擁有電視機的人。」一架機身漆著「布蘭達航空公司」字樣的巨型噴氣客機著陸了。這給我留下了極深的印象。英國航空公司眼看就得把他們的」協和式」飛機典當出去了，而這個小小的非洲國家卻擁有自己的航空公司，而且還有巨型客機等等。
我就問伯納德，布蘭達航空公司共有多少飛機。「一架也沒有。」他回答道。我告訴他別犯傻，要用自己的眼睛看一看。「不是的，大臣，這飛機是弗雷迪·萊克爾的，」他說，「他們上星期才租下來，特地把它重新漆過。」大多數貧窮國家（LDG）看來都這麼做——聯合國大會召開時，肯尼迪機場的跑道上擠滿了冒牌國籍的飛機。「實際上，」伯納德狡猾一笑，補充說道，「有一架747飛機在一個月內分別歸屬於九家不同的非洲航空公司。人們把它叫做受盲目崇拜的龐然大物。」「我想伯納德的意思是，」漢弗萊爵士對我開導說，「如果他曾經在英國大學學習過，他就會知道檢點自己的行為。即使是在倫敦經濟學院學習過也行。」我一直弄不清漢弗萊究竟是不是存心侮辱我。
「沒有，查利所竭力獻身的對象便是查利。」「噢，我明白了，大臣。他是一個政治家。」
「好呀，」他高興地說，「是因為人們不願意去破壞FROLINAT和FRETELIN之間微妙的勢力平衡吧？」
我猜想他知道可以這一點上抓住我的要害，於是就充分利用這有利因素。「我的意思是：如果新總統對ZIPRA比ZANLA更為同情，且不提ZAPU和ZANU，那麼CARECOM和COREPER就可能要把GRAPO扯進來，當然這就意味著要重新考慮同ECOSOC和UNIDO的所有老問題，而且IBRD和OECD之間的爭吵可能再度爆發……如果發生了這種情況，HMG又將怎麼辦呢？」【官方注釋：FROLINAT是法文詞首字母拼湊詞，意為「查德全國解放陣線」。FRETELIN是葡萄牙文詞首字母拼湊詞，意為「解放帝汶託管機構」，［帝汶是被印尼佔領的葡萄牙一處小小的殖民地。］ZIPRA是「辛巴威人民革命軍」。ZANLA是「辛巴威非洲人解放軍」。ZAPU是「辛巴威非洲人民聯盟」。ZANU是「辛巴威非洲人全國聯盟」。CARECOM是「加勒比共同市場」的詞首字母拼湊詞。COREPER是法文詞首字母拼湊詞，意為「歐洲共同市場全民代表委員會」。ECOSOC是「聯合國經濟會理事會」。UNIDO是「聯合國發展組織」。IBRD是「國際復興與開發銀行」。OECD是「經濟合作與開發組織」。GRAPO竟然不可思議地被拉進去了，因為它是西班牙文的詞首字母拼湊詞，意為「十月一日反法西斯革命小組」。可能是漢弗萊爵士試圖以此來困惑他的大臣。】
「唔，大臣。」他一面站起來，一面小心回答。儘管身穿那可笑的中國長袍，他那官吏本色不改。「具體說來，我們其實有六個通常可選擇的辦法。第一是聽之任之。第二是發表一個聲明，對演說深表遺憾。第三，提出正式抗議。第四，停止援助。第五，斷絕外交關係。第六，宣戰。」
「第一，如果我們什麼事情都不做，這等於默認這篇演講。第二，如果我們發表聲明，我們就會出醜。第三，如果我們提抗議，對方會置之不理。第四，我們無法停止援助，因為我們沒有向他們提供任何援助。第五，如果我們斷絕外交關係，我們就不能進行有關石油鑽塔合同的談判。第六，如果我們宣戰，那就可能顯得反應過火了。」他停了一下。「當然在過去，我們大有可能派一艘炮艇去。」我介紹了漢弗萊，接著大家都坐下。「我老是認為常任秘書是一個低三下四的頭銜。」他說。漢弗萊的眉毛往上一豎。
「對不起，請再說一遍。」「它聽上去就像是助理打字員什麼的。」查利愉快地說。於是漢弗萊的眉毛揚得更高，幾乎消失在髮際線中。「不過，」他以同樣的語調說下去，「您其實不是主管一切事務的嗎？」查利一點也沒有變。漢弗萊恢復鎮靜後誇耀說：「並不是一切全管。」【今年新版《是，首相》播完之後，還放映了一部有關新版拍攝的紀錄片。片中一位前任常任秘書提到有一次他訪問日本，他的職位就是被翻譯成打字秘書之類。】接著，我祝賀查利成為國家元首。「謝謝，」他說，「不過這並不困難。我用不著去做任何令人厭煩的事情，比如競選，」他停了一下，然後若無其事地加了一句，「或者比如補缺選舉之類的事。」並且對我們溫和地微笑。兩段印象最深。
1、History is the triumph of the heartless over the mindless.
2、Four-stage strategy: stage 1 we say nothing is going to happen; stage 2 we say something may happen, but we should do nothing; stage 3 we say maybe we should do something, but there is nothing we can do; stage 4 we say maybe there was something could have done, but now it"s too late.百度文庫里下的，然後就放ibooks里了。
Yes,Minister S01E01/E02 學習筆記
（基本來自於破爛熊字幕組，只在個別翻譯上略有改動。強大的字幕組！）
-Opposition"s about ask all the questions.
-And government is about not answering them.
-反對派就是用來質詢這些問題的。
-而政府就是用來迴避這些問題的。
The less you intend to do about something, the more you have to keep talking
about it.你愈不想做什麼事情，就愈會把這件事掛在嘴邊。
-What"s wrong with "open government"? I mean, why shouldn"t the
public know more about what"s going on?......
-It"s a contradiction in terms. You can be open or you can have
government.-But surely the citizens of a democracy have a right to know.
-No. They have a right to be ignorant. Knowledge only means complicity and
guilt,ignorance has a certain dignity.
-「透明政府」有什麼不對的嗎？我意思是，為什麼公眾不能對正在發生的事知道得更詳細些？
……
-這個短語本來就自相矛盾。你可以「透明」或者你可以有個政府。
-可民主政府下的公民們有權利去獲知。
-不，他們有無知的權利。知識只會代表陰謀和罪行，無知倒有一定的尊嚴。
If people don"t know what you"re doing, they don"t know what you are doing
wrong.如果人們不知道你在做些什麼，他們就不會知道你做錯了什麼。
"Under consideration" means we"ve lost the file， "Under active consideration"
means we"re trying to find it.「在考慮當中」意味著文件已經丟了，「在積極考慮當中」的意思是我們正在找。
Six options for unfavourable opinion from a foreign country:
1. Do nothing - implicitly agree with the speech
2. Issue a statement deploring the speech - just look foolish
3. Lodge an official protest - it will be ignored
4. Cut off aid - can"t cut off aid because we don"t give them any
5. Break off diplomatic relations - can"t negotiate the oil rig contracts
6. Declare war - it might just look as if we were overreacting
六種應對他國不利言論的選擇：
1. 聽之任之——等於默認了其內容
2. 發表聲明對其表示遺憾——只會像個呆瓜
3. 提出正式抗議——不會被放在眼裡
4. 停止援助——無法停止援助，因為從未援助過
5. 斷絕外交關係——談不成鑽井合同了（適用於各種投資談判）
6. 宣戰——那就會顯得反應過火了
Yes,Minister S01E03/E04 學習筆記
（基本來自於破爛熊字幕組，只在個別翻譯上略有改動。強大的字幕組！）
Perhaps the government thinks that a tax is the best form of defence.
也許政府認為徵稅才是最佳的國防。
Public don"t know anything about wasting government money. We are the
experts. (Humpy)民眾們對如何揮霍公家的錢財可是一竅不通。我們才是專家。(Humpy)
Suppose everyone went around saving money irresponsibly all over the
place......(Humpy)要是所有人都開始不負責任地到處省錢……(Humpy)
Stalling technique for the implementation of new policy (five stages)
1. First, he"ll tell you there"s lots of things to be getting on with.
2. Then, if you still persist, he"ll say something like "Ah, yes,
Minister, I quite appreciate the intention, certainly something ought to be done,
but are you sure this is the right way to achieve it?"3. Now, if you are still undeterred, he will shift his ground. He will
shift from how to do it to when you should do it. I mean, he"ll say "Now,
Minister, this is not the right time, for all sorts of reasons"4. And if you don"t settle for that, he"ll say that the policy"has
run into difficulties, such as technical, political, legal......legal are the
best sort, he can make those totally incomprehensible."5. And with any luck, this technique will have lasted for three years and
you"ll be at the final stage when he says: "Now, Minister, we"re getting
very close to the next general election. Are you sure you can get this policy
through?"應對新政策實施的拖延戰術（五個階段）
1. 首先，他會跟你說內閣新建，尚有許多事務要處理。
2. 其次，如果你仍然堅持（實施政策），他會這麼說：「好的，大臣閣下，意圖很好，確實應予施行，但你肯定這就是實施它的正確方式？」
3. 如果你還沒被唬住，他會改變立足點，從告訴你如何做轉向告訴你何時做。他會這麼說：「大臣閣下，出於各種原因，現在並非恰當的時機。」
4. 如果你仍未放棄，他便會說政策「實施起來困難重重，比方說在技術方面、行政方面、法律方面……法律是最好的託辭，他會使其聽起來玄乎其玄。」
5. 走運的話，這個戰術會持續三年。到了最後階段，他會告訴你：「大臣閣下，下一屆大選近在咫尺，你能保證這項政策通過嗎？」
-There is a lot of nonsense talked about the Civil Service. It"s actually
a marvellous, efficient, professional organisation, capable of enormous energy
and speed. It"s staffed by a lot of talented, dedicated people who do
everything in their power to help the government make it"s policies into law.
(Jim)-......Well, thank you for the commercial, Minister.
-關於行政部門，一直頗多微詞。其實它是一個非凡而高效的專業機構，充滿活力、高速運轉，它彙集了許許多多有才幹而又無私奉獻的人們，這些人正盡其所能地幫助政府將政策轉化為法律。(Jim)
-……感謝您所做的廣告，大臣閣下。
Yes,Minister
S01E05/E06/E07 學習筆記（基本來自於破爛熊字幕組，只在個別翻譯上略有改動。強大的字幕組！）
-Yes or no? Straight answer! (Jim)
-Well, Minister, if you ask me for a straight answer, then I shall say
that, as far as we can see, looking at it by and large, taking one time with
another, in terms of the average of departments, then in the final analysis it
is probably true to say that at the end of the day, in general terms, you would
probably find that no to put to fine a point on it, there probably wasn"t very
much in it one way or the other. As far as one can see......at this stage.
(Humpy)-是或不是？明確回答！(Jim)
-大臣閣下，如果您一定要我明白點講，我只能說，就目前的情況，綜觀全局，縱覽古今，考慮各部門平均水平，分析總結下來，也許可以這樣認為：綜上所述，概括說來，您很可能發現——儘管可能不中聽——無論如何，恐怕前景微妙。現階段只能這樣預期。(Humpy)
I know what with "with respect" means, that anything I suggest
is beneath contempt.我知道「恕我直言」是什麼意思，你是在暗示我的建議全都不值一提。
Britain has had the same foreign policy objective
for at least the last 500 years: To create a disunited Europe.英國的外交目標500年來從未變過：創造一個分裂的歐洲。
It"s just like the United Nations. The more members it has, the more
arguments it can stir up, the more futile and impotent it becomes.就像聯合國一樣，群龍無首，人多嘴雜，它就越發雞毛蒜皮。
-It"s top secret.
-You mean everyone know about it.
-這是最高機密。
-你是說人人都知道。
That"s not fair. Those Civil Servants may be always kowtowing to
Daddy(Minister), but they take any notice of him.這麼說可不公平。那些公務員對你爸是挺恭敬的沒錯，不過可從沒把他放在眼裡。
The Official Secrets Act is not to protect secrets, but officials.
《官方保密法》可不是用來保護秘密的，是用來保護官方的。
-Well, my dear, do you know about?
-Nothing. Nothing really. I"m a banker.
-老夥計，你到底懂些什麼？
-什麼都不懂。真的。我可是個銀行家。
-Most original and imaginative. (Humpy)
......
-Those are two of Humphrey"s most damning criticisms. (Jim)
-很有獨創性，富有想像力。(Humpy)
……
-這兩個詞是漢弗萊最嚴厲的批評。(Jim)
Yes,Minister
S02E01/E02/E03/E04 學習筆記（基本來自於破爛熊字幕組，只在個別翻譯上略有改動。強大的字幕組！）
Every stone will be left unturned in a search for the settlement.
問題不解決我們決不動搖。
-I wonder why we got two really good roads to Oxford,
before we got any to Southampton, Dover or Lowestoft or any of the ports?-Nearly all our Permanent Secretaries went to Oxford, Minister. And most Oxford Colleges
give very good dinners.-為什麼有兩條這麼好的路直通牛津，卻沒有一條通往南安普敦、多佛或者洛斯托夫特，或是別的什麼港口？
-幾乎全體常任秘書都出身牛津，大臣。而且牛津各個學院的晚宴都非常不錯。
First law of Political indiscretion: Always have a drink before you leak.
政壇泄密第一法則：酒後吐真言。
You know what compound interest is? Well, a jolly good thing. That"s the sort
of thing a compound is.你們都知道複合利息吧？對對……讓人高興的東西。「化合物"大概就是這類東西。
-You mean we suppress it?
-Certainly not, we just don"t publish it.
-What"s the difference?
-Oh Minister, all the difference in the world. Suppression is the
instrument of totalitarian dictatorship, we don"t talk of that sort of thing in
a free country. We simply take a democratic decision not to publish it.-你是說禁掉它？
-當然不是，只是不公布而已。
-有什麼區別嗎？
-區別可大了。查禁是獨裁專政的手段，咱們自由國家可不講這些。我們是經民主程序決定不公布。
以下是Sir Humphrey Appleby說「Merry Christmas」的方式：
I wonder if I might crave your momentary indulgence in order to discharge a by no means disagreeable obligation which has, over the years, become more or less established practice in government service as we approach the terminal period of the year — calendar, of course, not financial — in fact, not to put too fine a point on it, Week Fifty-One — and submit to you, with all appropriate deference, for your consideration at a convenient juncture, a sincere and sanguine expectation — indeed confidence — indeed one might go so far as to say hope — that the aforementioned period may be, at the end of the day, when all relevant factors have been taken into consideration, susceptible to being deemed to be such as to merit a final verdict of having been by no means unsatisfactory in its overall outcome and, in the final analysis, to give grounds for being judged, on mature reflection, to have been conducive to generating a degree of gratification which will be seen in retrospect to have been significantly higher than the general average.
【多圖預警】我看的是電視劇版的，隨手更一些《是，首相》裡面的截圖。因為太占手機內存，《是，大臣》在二刷之後就讓我刪了，如果有人看，後面我會再努力更。
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啦啦，更新啦～從《是，大臣》第一季第一集開始更，會更的很慢，圖很多，建議在WIFI環境下瀏覽，土豪請隨意～
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S01E01 Open Government透明政府
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S01E02 The Official Visit正式訪問
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發現這樣下去更完得好幾百張圖，後面太長的段子就不更啦，盡量選取每集比較短小精簡的話來截圖。
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S01E03 The Economy Drive 節約運動
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S02E08
The Prime Minister："I know exactly who reads the papers: The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country; The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country; The Times is read by people who actually do run the country; The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country; The Financial Times is read by people who own the country; The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country; and The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is." Sir Humphrey:"Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun?" Bernard Woolley: "Sun readers don"t care who runs the country, as long as she"s got big tits."
SIR 漢弗瑞對伯納德背喪鐘為誰而鳴的橋段 想起就會心一笑
感謝破爛熊字幕組
-Opposition"s about ask all the questions.
-And government is about not answering them.-反對派就是用來質詢這些問題的。-而政府就是用來迴避這些問題的。The less you intend to do about something, the more you have to keep talking about it.你愈不想做什麼事情，就愈會把這件事掛在嘴邊。-What"s wrong with "open government"? I mean, why shouldn"t the public know more about what"s going on?......-It"s a contradiction in terms. You can be open or you can have government.-But surely the citizens of a democracy have a right to know.-No. They have a right to be ignorant. Knowledge only means complicity and guilt, ignorance has a certain dignity.-「透明政府」有什麼不對的嗎？我意思是，為什麼公眾不能對正在發生的事知道得更詳細些？……-這個短語本來就自相矛盾。你可以「透明」或者你可以有個政府。-可民主政府下的公民們有權利去獲知。-不，他們有無知的權利。知識只會代表陰謀和罪行，無知倒有一定的尊嚴。If people don"t know what you"re doing, they don"t know what you are doing wrong.如果人們不知道你在做些什麼，他們就不會知道你做錯了什麼。"Under consideration" means we"ve lost the file， "Under active consideration" means we"re trying to find it.「在考慮當中」意味著文件已經丟了，「在積極考慮當中」的意思是我們正在找。Six options for unfavourable opinion from a foreign country:1. Do nothing - implicitly agree with the speech2. Issue a statement deploring the speech - just look foolish3. Lodge an official protest - it will be ignored4. Cut off aid - can"t cut off aid because we don"t give them any5. Break off diplomatic relations - can"t negotiate the oil rig contracts6. Declare war - it might just look as if we were overreacting六種應對他國不利言論的選擇：1. 聽之任之——等於默認了其內容2. 發表聲明對其表示遺憾——只會像個呆瓜3. 提出正式抗議——不會被放在眼裡4. 停止援助——無法停止援助，因為從未援助過5. 斷絕外交關係——談不成鑽井合同了6. 宣戰——那就會顯得反應過火了Perhaps the government thinks that a tax is the best form of defence.
也許政府認為徵稅才是最佳的國防。Public don"t know anything about wasting government money. We are the experts.民眾們對如何揮霍公家的錢財可是一竅不通。我們才是專家。Suppose everyone went around saving money irresponsibly all over the place......要是所有人都開始不負責任地到處省錢……Stalling technique for the implementation of new policy (five stages)1. First, he"ll tell you there"s lots of things to be getting on with.2. Then, if you still persist, he"ll say something like "Ah, yes, Minister, I quite appreciate the intention, certainly something ought to be done, but are you sure this is the right way to achieve it?"3. Now, if you are still undeterred, he will shift his ground. He will shift from how to do it to when you should do it. I mean, he"ll say "Now, Minister, this is not the right time, for all sorts of reasons"4. And if you don"t settle for that, he"ll say that the policy"has run into difficulties, such as technical, political, legal......legal are the best sort, he can make those totally incomprehensible."5. And with any luck, this technique will have lasted for three years and you"ll be at the final stage when he says: "Now, Minister, we"re getting very close to the next general election. Are you sure you can get this policy through?"應對新政策實施的拖延戰術（五個階段）1. 首先，他會跟你說內閣新建，尚有許多事務要處理。2. 其次，如果你仍然堅持（實施政策），他會這麼說：「好的，大臣閣下，意圖很好，確實應予施行，但你肯定這就是實施它的正確方式？」3. 如果你還沒被唬住，他會改變立足點，從告訴你如何做轉向告訴你何時做。他會這麼說：「大臣閣下，出於各種原因，現在並非恰當的時機。」4. 如果你仍未放棄，他便會說政策「實施起來困難重重，比方說在技術方面、行政方面、法律方面……法律是最好的託辭，他會使其聽起來玄乎其玄。」5. 走運的話，這個戰術會持續三年。到了最後階段，他會告訴你：「大臣閣下，下一屆大選近在咫尺，你能保證這項政策通過嗎？」-There is a lot of nonsense talked about the Civil Service. It"s actually a marvellous, efficient, professional organisation, capable of enormous energy and speed. It"s staffed by a lot of talented, dedicated people who do everything in their power to help the government make it"s policies into law. -......Well, thank you for the commercial, Minister.-關於行政部門，一直頗多微詞。其實它是一個非凡而高效的專業機構，充滿活力、高速運轉，它彙集了許許多多有才幹而又無私奉獻的人們，這些人正盡其所能地幫助政府將政策轉化為法律。-……感謝您所做的廣告，大臣閣下。-Yes or no? Straight answer!
-Well, Minister, if you ask me for a straight answer, then I shall say that, as far as we can see, looking at it by and large, taking one time with another, in terms of the average of departments, then in the final analysis it is probably true to say that at the end of the day, in general terms, you would probably find that no to put to fine a point on it, there probably wasn"t very much in it one way or the other. As far as one can see......at this stage. -是或不是？明確回答！-大臣閣下，如果您一定要我明白點講，我只能說，就目前的情況，綜觀全局，縱覽古今，考慮各部門平均水平，分析總結下來，也許可以這樣認為：綜上所述，概括說來，您很可能發現——儘管可能不中聽——無論如何，恐怕前景微妙。現階段只能這樣預期。I know what with "with respect" means, that anything I suggest is beneath contempt.我知道「恕我直言」是什麼意思，你是在暗示我的建議全都不值一提。Britain has had the same foreign policy objective for at least the last 500 years: To create a disunited Europe.英國的外交目標500年來從未變過：創造一個分裂的歐洲。It"s just like the United Nations. The more members it has, the more arguments it can stir up, the more futile and impotent it becomes.就像聯合國一樣，群龍無首，人多嘴雜，它就越發雞毛蒜皮。-It"s top secret.-You mean everyone know about it.-這是最高機密。-你是說人人都知道。That"s not fair. Those Civil Servants may be always kowtowing to Daddy(Minister), but they take any notice of him.這麼說可不公平。那些公務員對你爸是挺恭敬的沒錯，不過可從沒把他放在眼裡。The Official Secrets Act is not to protect secrets, but officials.《官方保密法》可不是用來保護秘密的，是用來保護官方的。-Well, my dear, do you know about?-Nothing. Nothing really. I"m a banker.-老夥計，你到底懂些什麼？-什麼都不懂。真的。我可是個銀行家。-Most original and imaginative. -Those are two of Humphrey"s most damning criticisms. -很有獨創性，富有想像力。-這兩個詞是漢弗萊最嚴厲的批評。Every stone will be left unturned in a search for the settlement.
問題不解決我們決不動搖。-I wonder why we got two really good roads to Oxford, before we got any to Southampton, Dover or Lowestoft or any of the ports?-Nearly all our Permanent Secretaries went to Oxford, Minister. And most Oxford Colleges give very good dinners.-為什麼有兩條這麼好的路直通牛津，卻沒有一條通往南安普敦、多佛或者洛斯托夫特，或是別的什麼港口？-幾乎全體常任秘書都出身牛津，大臣。而且牛津各個學院的晚宴都非常不錯。First law of Political indiscretion: Always have a drink before you leak.政壇泄密第一法則：酒後吐真言。You know what compound interest is? Well, a jolly good thing. That"s the sort of thing a compound is.你們都知道複合利息吧？對對……讓人高興的東西。「化合物"大概就是這類東西。-You mean we suppress it?-Certainly not, we just don"t publish it.-What"s the difference?-Oh Minister, all the difference in the world. Suppression is the instrument of totalitarian dictatorship, we don"t talk of that sort of thing in a free country. We simply take a democratic decision not to publish it.-你是說禁掉它？-當然不是，只是不公布而已。-有什麼區別嗎？-區別可大了。查禁是獨裁專政的手段，咱們自由國家可不講這些。我們是經民主程序決定不公布。-Europe is a comminity of nations, dedicated towards one goal...May we share the joke, Humphrey?
-Minister, let"s look at this objectively. It"s a game played for national interests, always was. Why do you suppose we went into it?-To strengthen the brotherhood of Free Western nations.-Oh really? We went in to screw the French by splitting them off from the Germans.-So why did the French go into it then?-Well, to protect their inefficient farmers from commercial competition.-That certainly doesn"t apply to the Germans.-No no, they went in to cleanse themselves of genocide and apply for readmission to the human race.-I never heard such appalling cynicism! At least the small nations didn"t go into it for selfish reasons.-Oh really? Luxembourg is in it for the perks; the capital of the EEC, all that foreign money pouring in.-Very sensible central location.-With the administration in Brussels and the Parliament in Strasbourg? Minister, it"s like having the House of Commons in Swindon and the Civil Service in Kettering!-歐洲各國本是一體，共同致力於同一個目標……什麼這麼好笑，漢弗萊？-大臣，我們客觀地來看看：這是各國利益的博弈場，咱們為什麼加入？-當然是為了加強自由西方國家的聯盟。-哦，是嗎？咱們其實是為了離間德法，從而壓倒法國。-……那法國呢？-那是為了在競爭中保護他們那些沒用的農民。-德國總不會是為了這個。-不不不，德國是為了清洗種族滅絕的罪名以求重新加入人類社會。-這也說得太尖酸刻薄了！那些小國總不會如此自私自利吧？-是嗎？盧森堡就是為了那些打賞——作為歐共體首都，外國資金可是滾滾而來。-他們本就處在中心位置。-總部在布魯塞爾，議會在斯特拉斯堡？大臣，這就好比把下院設在斯溫登(威爾特郡,英國西北部)，而把公務員們放在凱特林(北安普敦郡,中南部)！You know what they say about the average Common Market official? He has the organizing ability of the Italians, the flexibility of the Germans, and the modesty of the French. And that"s topped up by the imagination of the Belgians, the generosity of the Dutch and the intelligence of the Irish.典型的歐共體官員什麼樣？義大利人的組織能力，德國人的圓通，法國人的謙遜；再加上比利時人的想像力，荷蘭人的慷慨，還有愛爾蘭人的腦瓜子。-He"s a smooth-tongued, hard-nosed, cold-eyed, two-faced creep.-Why"s he so successful?-Because he"s a smooth-tongued, hard-nosed, cold-eyed, two-faced creep.-他是個尖牙利齒死魚眼、兩面三刀的小人。-那他為什麼這麼成功？-就是因為他是個尖牙利齒死魚眼、兩面三刀的小人。-Read the Financial Times today?
-Never do!-You"re a banker, surely you read the Financial Times?-Can"t understand it. Full of economic theory.-Why do you buy it?-Oh...You know, it"s part of the uniform. Took me 30 years to understand Keynes" Economics. Then when I"d just cottoned on, everyone start to get hooked on monetarist ideas...-你讀今早的金融時報了嗎？-我從來不讀。-你是銀行家嘛，當然要讀金融時報。-看也看不懂。都是些經濟理論。-那你買它幹什麼？-唉……你知道的，專業形象的一部分嘛。我花了30年才搞懂凱恩斯理論，剛摸著門，大家又一窩蜂去追捧新貨幣理論了……Unfortunately, among the many extraordinary qualities politicians possess, reasonableness is not necessarily the first springs to mind.不幸的是，政客們儘管有許許多多卓越的品質，講理卻不怎麼被他們看重。-Blurring the issue is one of the basic ministerial skills.-What"re the others?-Delaying decisions, dodging questions, juggling figures, bending facts and concealing errors.-轉移焦點是大臣的基本技能之一。-還有哪些？-拖延政策，迴避問題，玩弄數據，歪曲事實，掩蓋錯誤。-It"s a tiny mistake the sort of anyone could make.-Tiny mistake, 75000 (wasted)?! Give me an example of a big mistake.-Letting people find out about it.-犯點小錯，人之常情嘛。-浪費75000磅叫小錯？你倒說說什麼叫大錯。-讓人發現了就叫大錯。Five standard excuses to deal with allegationFrist, the excuse we used in the Anthony Blunt case: "There"s a perfect satisfying explanation for everything, but security forbids tis disclosure."Second, the excuse we used for comprehensive schools: "Because of budget cuts, supervisory resources went beyond their limits."Then there"s the excuse for Concorde: "A worthwhile experiment, now abandoned, but it had provided much valuable data and considerably employment."Four, there"s the excuse we used for the Munich Agreement: "It occured before certain important facts were known and couldn"t happen again."Five, there"s The Charge of the Light Brigade excuse: "It is an unfortunate lapse by an individual, which is not being deal with under internal disciplinary procedures."五個應付質詢的標準理由第一個理由曾在劍橋間諜案中使用過：「這些事情都有非常合理的解釋，但出於安全考慮，不能公開。」第二個理由曾在綜合中學辯論中使用過：「由於降低了預算，監管力量被削弱，才有了這一疏忽。」第三個理由曾在協和飛機事件中使用過：「該嘗試值得一做，並現已停止。應看到從中得到了許多寶貴數據，還獲得了大量就業機會。」第四，慕尼黑協議的理由：「有些重要信息，定局之後我們才得知。下不為例。」第五，克里米亞輕騎兵潰敗的理由：「由個人決策失誤引起，已根據內部紀律條例予以處理。」-Well, If I might suggest...that we be realistic about this.-By realistic, you mean drop the whole scheme.-Oh! dear me, no! But, perhaps, a pause to regroup, reassess the situation and discuss alternative strategies, a space of time for reflection and deliberation.-You mean drop the whole scheme.-恕我直言，咱們得現實點。-現實點……你是說全盤放棄。-天啊，不是。我意思是也許應當暫緩、重新整頓、慢慢評估現狀、商討其它戰略、給予充分的深思熟慮。-你就是在說全盤放棄。-Shouldn"t you not saying the government is unimportant?-No, it"s very important. It"s just that I haven"t met anyone who"s doing it.-難道治理這個國家不重要嗎？-不，當然重要。只是我沒看到有誰在治理這個國家。-America will protect us from the Russians.-Russians? Who"s talking about the Russians?-Well, independent deterrent...-It"s against the French!-The French? But that"s astounding!-Why?-Well, they"re our allies, our partners.-They are now. But they"ve been our enemies for most of the past 900 years. If they"ve got the bomb, we must have the bomb!-Oh...If it"s for the French, of course that"s different. Makes a lot of sense.-Yes, Can"t trust the Frogs.-You can say that again!-美國總會替我們(大不列顛)防備俄國的吧。-俄國？誰提俄國了？-說起那個獨立核威懾……-那是防備法國的！-法國？真是駭人聽聞！-怎麼？-他們是盟國，是友邦啊。-眼下是。可過去900年，他們一直跟我們作對。他們有核彈，我們也得有！-如果是防法國那就不同了……這就說通了。-對啊，法國佬信不過。-可不是。-Anyway, Minister, I"m sure you know what you"re doing.-Humphrey...you only say that when I"ve made an appalling cock-up.-總之大臣，您當然知道自己在做什麼。-漢弗萊……你只在我大難臨頭的時候才這麼說。-If ministers want to know anything, it will be brought to their notice. If they go out looking for information, they might...-Find it?-Yes.-一般大臣想知道什麼，要叫人呈上來。要是他們自己自己去打聽，沒準會……-打聽出來？-是的。-The final communiqué...you can"t write the communiqué before you have the meeting!
-On the contrary, Minister, you can"t write the communiqué after you have the meeting....-But it may bear no relation to what we actually say.-No communiqué ever bears any relation to what you say.-Then why have one?-It gets you past the press corps. The journalists need to justify their expense for a futile non-event. -Non-event?-Oh...of course, a brilliant triumph for you, Minister. Which is why it"s a futile non-event for the press.-最終公報……怎麼能在會前就寫公報？-恰恰相反，大臣，你不能在會後才寫公報。……-這跟我們真正要講的完全沒關係。-公報跟我們要講的東西一向沒關係。-那為什麼要寫？-好讓媒體有東西報道。記者需要解釋他們採訪這件無用功的昂貴賬單。-無用功？-哦……當然您會功勛顯赫的，大臣。所以對媒體來說就是無用功了。-I do wish you wouldn"t use words like bribery.-What would you like me to say? Slush funds? Sweetness? Brown Envelopes?-These are extremely crude and unworthy expressions for what is no more than creative negotiation. It is general practice.-請您別用賄賂這種詞。-那要用什麼詞？髒錢？甜頭？紅包？-這些詞用來形容這種創意談判也太殘酷無理了。這是潛規則罷了。-Now you"re telling me it was got by bribery.-No, Minister.-Oh, it was not got by bribery.-That is not what I said.-What did you say?-I said I"m not telling you it was got by bribery.-現在你說這是賄賂來的。-不，大臣。-哦，不是賄賂來的。-我可沒這麼說。-你怎麼說？-我說我沒告訴您那是賄賂來的。-Are you saying that winking at corruption is government policy?-No, no, Minister. It could never be government policy! That is unthinkable! Only government practice.-難道腐敗也是政府的政策？-不，大臣。腐敗從來就不是政策！簡直不可思議！它只是政府慣例。The Press Office can device something convincing and meaningless. After all, that"s what they"re paid for.新聞辦總有一套頗具說服力的空話。畢竟這是他們的工作。The cynic is what an idealist calls a realist.憤世者是理想主義者對現實主義者的稱呼。In the meantime, formulating policy means making choices. Once you do that, you please the people that you favor, but you infuriate everybody else.制定政策就意味著做決策。而做決策只會取悅受惠者，但激怒其他所有人。The ship of state, is the only ship that leaks from the top.只有國家這條船，是從頂上漏水的。-It"s officially impossible. Stringent security, rigorous inspections, meticulous scrutiny.
-You mean it"s all a facade？-這是官方禁止的。有嚴格的安全措施，嚴密的檢查手續，還有仔細的複查。-那就是煙幕彈啰？-May I ask who this confidential source was?-Humphrey, I said it was confidential.-I"m sorry. I naturally assumed that meant you were going to tell me.-請問是哪位機密線人？-漢弗萊，我說了是「機密」。-抱歉，我習慣性地以為您這是要告訴我。A basic rule of government is never look into anything you don"t have to, never start an enquiry unless you know advance what its findings will be.政府的原則之一就是沒必要管的事不要管，若不能預知結果，就不要展開調查。Government isn"t about good and evil. It"s about order or chaos.政府不關乎善與惡，只關乎治與亂。Almost all government policy is wrong, but...frightfully well carried out.政府政策幾乎都不對，不過……都執行得非常圓滿。I have served 11 governments in the past 30 years. If I"d believed in all their policies, I would have been passionately committed to keep out of Common Market, and passionately committed to join into it. I"d have been convinced of the rightness of nationalizing steel and of denationalizing it and renationalizing it. Capital punishment? I"d have been a fervent retentionist and an ardent abolitionist. I"d have been a Keynesian and a Friedmanite, a grammar school preserver and destroyer, a nationalization freak and a privatization maniac...but above all, I would have been a stark-staring raving schizophrenic!我過去30年里服務了11屆政府。如果我相信所有那些政策，我會強烈反對加入共同市場，又強烈同意加入共同市場。我會堅信鋼鐵應該國營，並且私營，並且又收歸國營。死刑呢？我會熱烈支持保留，又強烈要求廢止。我會追隨凱恩斯主義以及弗里德曼主義，會主張保留並取締文法學校，會狂熱於國有化並醉心於私有化……總而言之，我會是一個語無倫次的精神分裂症患者！-...So will you use that influence to help us?
-Well...when I said influence, I meant the indefinable sort, the intangible, subtle benefit of an input into broad general policy at its early stages while keeping the interests of constituency in mind.-You mean no?-你願不願意施加一下影響來幫助我們？-這個……我說的影響是指抽象的影響，一種無形的、潛在的優勢，在大政方針的初級階段可以朝有利選區的方向引導。-就是說不行？Subsidy, is for art, for culture. It is not to be given to what the people want! It is for what the people don"t want but ought to have! If they want something they"ll pay for it themselves! No! We subsidise education, enlightenment, spiritual uplift. Not the vulgar pastimes of ordinary people. It"s the thin end of the wedge. It must be stopped! 補助金，是給藝術、給文化的。不是為了人們想要的東西！是為了人們不想要又非得有的東西！他們想要什麼，自己會出錢的。不！我們補助的是教化、是修養、是精神文明的提升，不是普通人的庸俗娛樂。如此歪風，萬不可長，必須制止！-When you see vast buildings, huge staff and massive budgets, what do you conclude?-Bureaucracy?-當您看到高樓大廈、人才濟濟、巨額預算，您看出什麼？-官僚主義？Some extraordinary rumours are going about. The left say he(The PM)"s a secret CIA agent. The right say he"s a secret KGB agent.有各種神奇的留言。左翼說他(首相)是中情局的密探，右翼說他是克格勃的密探。First rule of politics: Never believe anything until it"s officially denied.政治第一定律：只有官方否認的才可信。-So, will our new PM be our eminent Chancellor or our distinguished Foreign Secretary?-Well, that is what I wanted to talk to you about. Which do you think it should be?-Difficult. Like asking which lunatic should run the asylum.-那麼，新首相會是我們偉大的財長，還是卓越的外長呢？-我正想問你，你覺得應該是誰？-不好說。這就像選個瘋子管理精神病院。-So we"re looking for a compromise candidate.-Hmm. Malleable.-Flexible.-Likeable.-No firm opinions.-No bright ideas.-Not intellectually committed.-Without strength of purpose to change anything.-Someone you know can be manipulated, professionally guided...-...And leave the business of government in the hands of the experts.-所以我們得另找個折衷的候選人。-嗯。可塑性強的。-靈活的。-隨和的。-立場不堅定。-觀點不突出。-思維不敏銳。-沒能力改變現狀。 -公認的好操縱，懂得接受專業引導……-……將國家大事留給專家們處理。-So we trust you to ensure you Minister does nothing incisive or divisive over the next few weeks. Avoids anything controversial. Expresses no firm opinion about anything at all. Is that quite clear?-...Yes. But I think that"s what he was planning to do anyway.-所以我們交待給你，確保你的大臣未來幾周內不要過激，不要引起爭議，避免一切反對意見，對任何事都不要明確表態。-……好。反正他本來也打算這麼做。One Prime Minister"s lunch with an ambassador destroys two years of patient diplomacy.
首相跟大使吃一次午餐，破壞兩年的外交成果。Open government, freedom of information. We should always tell the press freely and frankly anything that they could easily find out some other way.透明政府，信息自由。 我們必須開誠布公地告訴媒體一切他們自有辦法查到的事。-I"ve been asking myself what can I do to continue this run of success.-Have you considered "masterly inactivity"?-No, Humphrey, a Prime Minister must be firm.-Indeed. How about "firm masterly inactivity"?-我在考慮如何讓成功延續下去。-您考慮過「無為」嗎？-不，漢弗萊，首相必須強硬。-當然。那麼「強硬的無為」怎麼樣？-It"s a deterrent.-It"s a bluff. I probably wouldn"t use it.-Yes. But they don"t know you probably wouldn"t.-They probably do.-Yes, they probably know that you probably wouldn"t, but they can"t certainly know.-They probably certainly know that I probably wouldn"t.-Yes, even though they probably certainly know that you probably wouldn"t, they don"t certainly know that, although you probably wouldn"t, there is no possibility that you certainly would!-What?-這是個威懾。-這只是唬人。我大概根本都不會去用它。-是，可他們不知道您大概不用。-他們大概知道。-是，大概知道您大概不用，但他們不能確定您真的不用。-他們大概能確定我真的不用。-是，可就算他們大概能確定你真的不用，他們也不能確定——儘管你可能不用——您就真的沒有可能去用！-啥？-Bernard, what is the purpose of our defence policy?
-To defend Britain.-No, Bernard. It"s to make people believe Britain is defended.-The Russians?-Not the Russians, the British! The Russians know it"s not! It"s for all our simple, ignorant people shuffling in and out of houses, buses, factories and the Cabinet room.-伯納，我們國防政策的目的是什麼？-保衛英國。-不，伯納。是為了讓人相信英國受到了保衛。-讓俄國人？-不是俄國人，是英國人！俄國人知道沒有！這是為了讓我們天真、單純的人民能自在穿梭於家中、巴士和工廠……以及內閣里。-Humphrey, who is it has the last word about the government of Britain? The British Cabinet or the American President?-You know that is a fascinating question...we often discuss it.-And what conclusion have you arrived at?-Well, I must admit to be a bit of a heretic. I think it is the British Cabinet, but...I know I am in the minority.-漢弗萊，英國政府誰說了算？英國內閣還是美國總統？-這倒是個有意思的問題……我們常討論這個。-得出什麼結論？-我是有點異端。我認為是英國內閣，不過……我知道我是少數派。-Will you be wearing those glasses?-Oh, what do you think?-Well, it"s up to you, obviously. With them on you look authoritative and commanding. With them off you look honest and open. Which do you want?-Well, I want to look authoritative and honest.-It"s one or the other, really.-What about starting with them off and then putting them on while I am talking?-That just looks indecisive.-...What about a monocle?-您要戴眼鏡嗎？-你覺得呢？-隨您。戴上它，您看上去威嚴而果斷；不戴它，您看上去真誠又坦率。-我想看上去威嚴而又真誠。-說真的，這隻能選其一。-我先不戴，等開講的時候再戴，怎麼樣？-那隻會顯得優柔寡斷。-……單片眼鏡怎麼樣？-What will you wearing?-What do you suggest?-Dark suit represents traditional values...-Fine, dark suit.-...On the other hand, a light suit looks business-like.-Well, what about a lightish jacket with a darkish waistcoat?-I think that would look as though you"ve got an identity problem.-您要穿什麼？-你的建議呢？-深色套裝代表傳統價值……-那就深色套裝。-……另一方面，淺色套裝看上去務實。-淺色外套配深色馬甲如何？-我覺得那會顯得您不知道自己是誰。If that"s what you"re going to say, I suggest a very modern suit, hi-tech furniture, high-energy yellow wallpaper, abstract paintings...in fact everything to disguise the absence of new in the speech.如果要照這麼講，我建議穿時髦點，高科技布景，高亮度黃色牆紙，抽象畫……全都旨在掩飾講話本身毫無新意。Things don"t happen just because Prime Ministers are very keen on them! Neville Chamberlain was very keen on peace!事情不會因為首相熱衷就實現！張伯倫還熱衷於和平呢！-Taxation isn"t about what you need.
-What is it about?-Prime Minister, the Treasury doesn"t work out what they need spend and then think how to raise the money.-What does it do?-They pitch for as much as they think they can get away with, then think what to spend it on. If you start giving money back because you don"t need it, you"re breaking with centuries of tradition.-稅收與需求無關。-那和什麼相關？-首相，財政部不會先想好怎麼花，然後再設法斂財。-那他們怎麼做？-只要可能，斂得越多越好，然後再找地方花。如果因為不需要就把錢還回去，您就破壞了幾個世紀以來的老規矩。-Of course, you know I agree with you basically. Smoking should be stopped. No question. And we will stop it in due course. At the appropriate juncture, in the fullness of time...-You mean forget it?-當然，你知道基本上我是支持你的。吸煙理應被禁止。毫無疑問，我們終歸要完成這項任務。等時機成熟，萬事俱備……-您是說算了？-Don"t you think his position is admirably moral?-Moral perhaps, but extremely silly. No man in his right mind could possibly contemplate such a proposal.-I"m contemplating it.-Yes, of course, Prime Minister. Please don"t misunderstand me. It is quite right that you should contemplate all proposals that come from your government, but no sane man would ever support it.-I"m supporting it.-And quite right too, Prime Minister...-你不覺得他的出發點非常崇高嗎？-也許崇高，但是蠢到極點。頭腦健全的人都不會考慮這種提議。-我就在考慮呢。 -是，當然，首相。請別誤會，您當然要考慮您政府所有的行政提案，但沒有正常人會支持它。-我就支持。-這也是您應該的，首相……-When cholera killed 30,000 people in 1833, we got the Public Health Act; when smog killed 2,500 people in 1952, we got the Clean Air Act. A commercial drug kills half a dozen people and we get it withdrawn from sale. Cigarettes kill 100,000 people a year, and what do we get?-4 billion pounds a year. 25,000 jobs in the tobacco industry. A flourishing cigarette export business, helping our balance of trade. 250,000 jobs related to tobacco: newsagents, packaging, transport...-1883年，霍亂造成三萬人死亡，我們得到《公共衛生法案》；1952年，工業廢氣造成兩千五百人死亡，我們得到《空氣凈化法案》。一種商業藥物造成六人死亡，我們禁止它出售。香煙每年殺死十萬人，我們得到了什麼？-四十億英鎊歲入。兩萬五千個煙草業工作崗位。出口業蓬勃發展，有效平衡了貿易額。二十五萬個相關崗位涵蓋零售、包裝、貿易等諸多領域……-They(BTG)"re a very generous corporation with a strong sense of responsibility to our community. Look at all the money they give to sports! Now you"re trying to stop them!-They just do it to sell more cigarettes.-No, they do it as a sense of service to the community.-Oh, that"s all right, then. They can go on giving the money anonymously if they like.-Well, I"m sure they"d be happy to, provided they could publicise the fact that they were doing it anonymously.-英國煙草集團是非常慷慨的組織，有著強烈的社會責任感。看看他們給體育的錢吧！您還想制止他們！-他們只是為了賣出更多的香煙。-不，他們把這當作是對社會的服務。-哦，那好，如果他們喜歡捐款那就匿名捐吧。-我肯定他們會樂意至極，如果他們能把匿名捐款的事迹公布的話。It would be different if the government were a team, but in fact they"re a loose confederation of warring tribes.如果政府是一支團隊的話，情況會有所不同，可實際上它是敵對部落結成的鬆散聯邦體。-Oh really, Bernard, must you and Humphrey always express yourself in this roundabout and pompous way? "More honoured in the breach than in the observance!"...Must you destroy the most beautiful language in the world, the language of Shakespeare?
-That is Shakespeare, Prime Minister. (Hamlet 1.4)-天，伯納，你和漢弗萊說話非得總是這麼拐彎抹角嗎？「尊崇之道更偏向於打破而非照辦」……你們非要毀掉世上最美的語言，毀掉莎士比亞的母語嗎？-這就是莎士比亞，首相。（哈姆雷特 1.4）-Prime Minister, I must protest in the strongest possible terms...my profound opposition to a newly instituted practice which imposes severe and intolerable restrictions upon the ingress and egress of senior members of the hierarchy and which will, in all probability, should the current deplorable innovation be perpetuated, precipitate a constriction of the channels of communication, and culminate in a condition of organisational atrophy and administrative paralysis which will render effectively impossible the coherent and co-ordinated discharge of the functions of government within Her Majesty"s United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.-You mean you"ve lost your key?-首相，我必須訴諸最強硬的詞句來表達我強烈反對新近的規定中加諸的嚴格且無法容忍的對高層統治人員出入的限制。一旦現有的可悲創新納入長期規章，將迅速導致信息溝通渠道緊縮，最終造成組織的萎縮以及管理的癱瘓，從而完全消滅政府各部門工作的連續性，以致削弱整個大不列顛與北愛爾蘭聯合王國。-你是說你把鑰匙丟了？-I don"t think Sir Humphrey understands economics, Prime Minister. He did read Classics.-What about Sir Frank (foreseeing the financial crisis)? He is head of the Treasury.-Well, I am afraid he is in even a greater disadvantage in understanding economics. He is an economist.-我認為漢弗萊爵士不懂經濟，首相。他念的古典文學。-弗蘭克爵士沒預料到財政危機嗎？他是財政部首腦。-恐怕他更不可能懂經濟。他是個經濟學家。- A leader can only lead by consent, consensus. That"s democracy.-So who is in charge if you"re not?-Nobody, really.-Is that good?-It must be. That"s what democracy is all about.-領導人只能聽別人意見，服從多數。這就是民主。-你不負責，那到底誰負責？-沒人負責，說真的。-這樣好嗎？-肯定好。這就是民主的目的。Being an MP is a vast, subsidised ego trip. It"s a job which you need no qualifications, no compulsory hours of work, no performance standards. A warm room and subsidised meals for a bunch of self-important windbags and busybodies, who suddenly find people taking them seriously, because they"ve got "MP" after their names!議員是個名利雙收的頂級肥差。沒有資質考核，沒有固定工時，沒有評價標準。用溫暖的房間和美食養著一幫自大狂和無事忙——這幫傢伙突然發現人們把他們當回事了，就因為他們名字後面加了「議員」兩個字！-If there were a conflict of interests, which side will the Civil Service really be on?-The winning side.-如果真有利益衝突，公務員究竟站哪邊？-贏的那邊。-Apparently, the White House thinks that the Foreign Office is full of pinkos and traitors.
-No, it"s not. Well...not full.-白宮認為外交部都是些左傾份子和賣國賊。-不是的。呃……不全是。-East Yemen...isn"t that a democracy?-Its full name is People"s Democratic Republic of East Yemen.-Oh, I see. It"s a communist dictatorship.-東葉門不是民主政權嗎？-它全稱是「東葉門人民民主共和國」-哦，知道了。左翼獨裁政權。-You know what happens when politicians get into Number 10. They want their place on the world stage.-People on stages are called actors. All they"re required to do is look plausible, stay sober and say the lines they"re given in the right order.-Some of them try to make up their own lines.-They don"t last long.-你知道政客們進入10號後會怎樣。他們想在世界舞台上佔個位置。-站在舞台上的那叫演員。他們只需作穩定狀，保持清醒，按部就班念台詞。-一些人試圖自己想詞。-立馬就下台了。-We should always fight for the weak against the strong.-Well, why don"t we send troops to Afghanistan to fight the Russians?-The Russians are too strong.-我們應該鋤強扶弱。-那為什麼不派軍隊去阿富汗對抗俄國？-俄國強過頭了。Diplomacy is about surviving until the next century. Politics is about surviving to the Friday afternoon!外交旨在存活到下世紀。政治旨在存活到星期五下午！The standard Foreign Office response in a time of crisis:Stage one, we say nothing is going to happen.Stage two, we say it maybe going to happen, but we should do nothing about it.Stage three, we say that maybe we should do something about it, but there"s nothing we can do.Stage four, we say maybe there was something we could have done, but it"s too late now.外交部標準危機應對策略：第一階段 － 宣稱什麼事都沒有第二階段 － 說也許有事發生，但我們不應該採取行動第三階段 － 說也許我們應該採取行動，但什麼都做不了第四階段 － 說也許我們當初能做點什麼，但現在已太遲了The history of the world is the history of triumph of the heartless over the mindless.
世界歷史就是無情對無腦的勝利史。Bishops tend to have long lives. Apparently the Lord isn"t all that keen for them to join Him.主教通常都很長壽。顯然上帝不急著召他們去陪他。-What『s a modernist in the Church of England?-Well, the word "modernist" is code for non-believer.-You mean an atheist?-No, no, Prime Minister. An atheist couldn"t continue to draw his stipend, so when they stop believing in God, they call themselves modernists.-聖公會的「現代派」是什麼意思？-這個嘛，「現代派」指不信教的人。-你是指無神論者？-不不，首相。無神論者可拿不到教會津貼，所以當他們不信奉上帝了就自稱「現代派」。The ideal bishop is a corporate executive, a sort of merchant banker, personnel manager and estate agent.理想的主教是個集團公司經理，兼任銀行家、人事主管和不動產經紀人。-We don"t want more irresponsible speculation.-Even if it"s accurate.-Especially if it"s accurate! There is nothing worse than accurate, irresponsible, ill-informed press speculation.-不能再掀起不負責任的媒體疑雲了。-就算在它們正確的情況下。-特別在它們正確的情況下！沒有什麼能比準確無誤、不負責任、空穴來風的媒體疑雲更糟的了。The whole object of internal security inquiries is to find no evidence...Government security inquiries are only used for killing press stories.內部安全調查的宗旨就在於查不出證據……政府的安全調查只是用來消滅媒體謠言用的。-Are you suggesting that I should have the Prime Minister crawling all over Salisbury Plain, with a mine detector in one hand and a packet of Winalot in the other?-It would probably do Britain less harm than anything else he is likely to be doing.-你建議我讓首相在索爾茲伯里平原爬來爬去，一手拿著探雷器，一手拿著袋狗糧？-大概對英國來說，這是他會做的事之中最無害的了。-I presume the Prime Minister is in favour of this scheme because it will reduce unemployment?
-Well, it looks as if he"s reducing unemployment.-Or looks as if he"s trying to reduce unemployment.-While as in reality he"s only trying to look as if he"s trying to reduce unemployment.-Yes, because he"s worried that it does not look as if he"s trying to look as if he"s trying to reduce unemployment.-我猜首相支持這個提案是因為它能降低失業率吧？-它會顯得首相在降低失業率。-或者顯得他在設法降低。-儘管他只是設法顯得他在設法降低失業率。-對，因為他擔心顯示不出他在設法顯得他在設法降低失業率。It is characteristic of all committee discussions and decisions that every member has a vivid recollection of them and that every member"s recollection of them differs violently from every other member"s recollection. Consequently, we accept the convention that the official decisions are those and only those which have been officially recorded in the minutes by the Officials, from which it emerges with an elegant inevitability that any decision which has been officially reached will have been officially recorded in the minutes by the Officials and any decision which is not recorded in the minutes is not been officially reached even if one or more members believe they can recollect it, so in this particular case, if the decision had been officially reached it would have been officially recorded in the minutes by the Officials. And it isn"t so it wasn"t.委員會討論和決議的共性是：每一個與會人員都對它記憶猶新，而每個人的記憶又和別人的大相徑庭。故按慣例，所謂官方決議，是且只是官方人員記入紀要的決議。因此順理成章，不可避免地，任何官方達成的決議都會被官方記入紀要，而官方紀要里沒有的就從未被官方達成過，哪怕個別成員自以為記得有過。所以，就這件事來說，如果官方確實達成了決議，那它一定會在官方紀要里。但它沒記錄，所以不存在。-Now about nailing that leak...-I"m sorry to be pedantic, but if you nail a leak you make another.-接下來把泄漏「釘」起來……-請原諒我的咬文嚼字，可如果您把漏洞釘上，就又開了個洞。-I want to have a clear conscience.-A clear conscience...when did you acquire this taste for luxuries?-我想有顆清白的良心。-清白的良心……你幾時這麼奢侈起來了？-Don"t we ever get our own way with the French?
-Well, sometimes.-When was the last time?-Battle of Waterloo, 1815.-我們(英國)就沒壓倒過法國嗎？-也有幾次。-上一次是什麼時候？-滑鐵盧戰役，1815年。-He says some shocking things about me.-Such as?-He calls me two-faced.-That was very wrong...Unforgivably indiscreet.-Indiscreet?-Oh...And wrong.-他怎麼能那樣說我？-哪樣？-他管我叫「兩面派」。-太不合適了……毫無保密意識。-保密意識？-哦……也不合適。-I am sure tremendous number of people will want to attend his funeral.-To pay tribute to a great Prime Minister?-Yeah...and to make sure he"s dead.-我相信會有許多人會想給他送葬的。-來向一位偉大首相致敬？-對……順便確認他真的死了。-People don"t expect leaders to come back from funeral with test-ban agreements or farm quota reductions, so we can have some meaningful discussions. A summit is just a public-relations circus.-Isn"t anyone coming to the funeral to pay tribute to a friend?-A friend? If only his friends came to the abbey, we wouldn"t even fill the vestry. He"s done much more for the world by dying than he ever did in the whole of his life.-Have you agreed the service?-Yeah, lots of music.-That"s nice.-Mm, you can have useful discussions when the organ"s playing. Have to shut up for the lesson.-What about the sermon?-That"s when you catch up on jet lag.-沒人指望領導人從葬禮上搞到禁止核試驗或者生產限額協定，於是我們就能談些有意義的東西了。峰會只能算是公關大會。-就沒人是來向老朋友致敬的嗎？-朋友？要是只請他的朋友，連個小禮拜堂都填不滿。他這一死為世界做的貢獻比他活著一輩子都大。-你敲定儀式細節了嗎？-對，一直奏樂。-這倒不錯。-嗯，有管風琴掩護，就能談點有用的了。齊聲禱告時就不行了。-佈道的時候呢？-那是用來倒時差的。Yes, we will want simultaneous translators...No, not when the PM meets the leaders of the English speaking nations...Yes, the English speaking nations can be said to include the United States. With a certain generosity of spirit.對，我們需要同聲傳譯……不，會見英語國家元首時就免了……對，「英語國家」可以包括美國，以顯示我們的慷慨大度。-Yes, 10 PMs are flying in today. Special Branch are going crazy. So is the Royal Marines band who play all the national anthems...Oh, I see. Argentina"s not coming. A bit of luck.-Because of the Falklands?-No, because their anthem goes on for about six minutes.-對，十國元首專機今天抵達。特工處快瘋了。皇家海軍樂隊也是，他們得演奏所有的國歌……哦，明白了。阿根廷不來了，真走運。-因為馬島事件？-不，因為他們的國歌有六分鐘長。No, we can"t have alphabetical seating in the Abbey. You"d have Iraq and Iran next to each other. Plus Israel and Jordan all sitting in the same pew. We"d be in danger of starting World War III.不，禮堂里不能按字母順序排位，不然伊拉克會挨著伊朗坐，以色列和約旦也同坐一排，我們會引發第三次世界大戰的。-Watch out for the South Africans.-Problem of human rights?-No, they"re trying to unload grapefruit.-小心提防南非人。-人權問題？-不，他們想傾銷柚子。-I read all ten of this morning"s London papers. Not a good word about me in nine of them.
-But the tenth is better?-The tenth is worse. It doesn"t mention me at all.-倫敦共有十份晨報，我全看了一遍。其中九份對我沒說半句好話。-只有第十份好些？-第十份更糟，壓根沒提我。-They say that my administration"s all rhetoric, that I talk and talk, but nothing ever gets done. It simply isn"t true. There are many reforms in the pipeline, a great change of direction, a great new schemes of development, a whole new philosophy of government, profound change in the whole social fabric and geopolitical climate of this country...-So what is actually happening?-Nothing yet, obviously.-他們說我的執政全都是假大空，我說得天花亂墜，但是一事無成。睜眼說瞎話嘛。各項改革都在醞釀之中，總方針已經今非昔比，確立了全新的發展觀，執政理念不斷升華，社會結構取得長足進步，國家地緣政治面貌也為之一新……-那究竟有什麼成就？-眼下還沒有嘛。-Don"t tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers:The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country;The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country;The Times is read by people who actually do run the country;The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country;The Financial Times is read by people who own the country;The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country...and the Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.-Prime Minister, what about the people who read the Sun?-Sun readers don"t care who runs the country, as long as she"s got big tits.-媒體的事我不用你教。報紙讀者我最熟悉了：『鏡報』的讀者是自以為在治理國家的人；『衛報』的讀者是自以為應該治理國家的人；『泰晤士報』的讀者是真的在治理國家的人；『每日郵報』的讀者是治理國家的人的夫人；『金融時報』的讀者是手裡攥著國家的人；『晨星報』的讀者是想把國家交給別國治理的人； 『每日電訊報』的讀者覺得我們正被別國治理著。-首相，那『太陽報』的讀者呢？-『太陽報』的讀者不在乎誰治理國家，只要她前凸後翹就好。-When you wish to suggest that somebody is perhaps not the ideal choice...-You rubbish them?-No, the first stage is to express absolute support.-Why?-Because you don"t want to go on record as saying somebody is no good. You must be seen to be their friend. After all, it is necessary to get behind someone before you can stab them in the back.-如果你想暗示某個人不適合某個位置……-就要詆毀他？-不，第一步是要表示完全的支持。-為什麼？-你不想留下說人壞話的記錄吧。你得顯得像他的朋友。說到底，先得繞到人後面，然後才能捅刀子。-Animals have rights too, you know? A battery chicken"s life isn"t worth living. Would you want to spend your life packed in with six hundred other desperate, squawking, smelly creatures, unable to breathe fresh air, unable to move, unable to stretch, unable to think?
-Certainly not, that is why I never stood for Parliament.-動物也有權利，懂嗎？圈養雞一輩子生不如死。你願意一輩子跟600名吵吵鬧鬧，臭烘烘的生靈擠在一起嗎？無法呼吸新鮮空氣，無法移動，無法伸展，無法思考？-當然不願意，所以我從不參選議員。-How would you feel if they took all the culture programmes off television?-I don"t know. I never watch them.-Well, neither do I! But it"s vital to know that they"re there!-要是他們把電視上所有文化節目都取消，你什麼感覺？-我不知道。我從來不看。-我也不看！但它們的存在至關重要！The only way to reform the Civil Service system is to reform the political system. And no government"s going to reform the system that put it into power.改革公務員系統的唯一方法就是把政治體制一併改革掉。可沒有哪個政府會改掉賦予其權力的體制吧。-To put it simply, Prime Minister, certain informal discussions took place involving a full and frank exchange of views, after which there arose a series of proposals which on examination proved to indicate certain promising lines of enquiry, which when pursuit led to the realization that the alternative courses of action might in fact, in certain circumstances, be susceptible of discreet modification, leading to a reappraisal of the original areas of difference and pointing a way to encouraging possibilities of compromise and cooperation which if bilaterally implemented with appropriate give and take on both sides might, if the climate were right, have a reasonable possibility at the end of the day of leading rightly or wrongly to a mutually satisfactory resolution.-What the hell are you talking about?!-We did a deal.-簡而言之，首相，我們進行了一番非正式討論，全面而坦率地交換了意見，從而提出了一系列計劃，最終引導出了多種可行的研究目標。依次推進之後，得出結論，有某些其它方案也許在某種情況下能對既定方針作出謹慎補充，以實現求同存異，尋找一條途徑使雙方有條件妥協接受並通力合作。如果雙方都能貫徹執行並同時作出適當的讓步，若形勢許可，也許會最終創造出可能條件，無論過程正確與否，都能達成雙方均滿意的解決方案。-你在扯什麼鬼？！-我們做了筆交易。It is what artists always do: crawling towards the government on their knees, shaking their fists.
藝術家就是這樣：朝政府邊下跪邊揮拳。People don"t go to church, but they feel better because it"s there. The arts are just the same. As long as they"re going on, you can feel part of a civilised nation.人們都不愛去教堂，可因為教堂在那兒，他們心裡舒坦。藝術也是一樣，只要它們還在，咱們就自覺是文明國家的一員。-Nobody be able to call me a philistine then!-Not unless they knew you.-這下沒人會說我粗俗了！-除非他們認識你本人。If he can"t ignore facts, he"s got no business being a politician.如果不能無視事實，他這政客也不用當了。-Math has become politicized: If it costs 5 billion pounds a year to maintain Britain"s nuclear defences and 75 pounds a year to feed a starving African child, how many African children can be saved from starvation if the Ministry of Defence abandoned nuclear weapons?-That"s easy: none. They"d spend it all on conventional weapons.-連數學題都政治化了：如果英國核武防禦每年要花5萬英鎊，餵飽一名非洲飢童每年要75英鎊，假設國防部放棄核武器，能救多少非洲孩子的性命？-很簡單：零個。他們會拿錢去買常規武器。Give the local councils a hundred million each and ask them to defend themselves. We wouldn"t have to worry about the Russians; we would have a civil war in three weeks.給每個地方理事會一億英鎊，叫他們自己搞國防，別擔心俄國了，不出三周內戰就爆發了。-I mean they(DES)"ll give it the most serious and earnest consideration and insist on a thorough and rigorous examination of all the proposals, allied with detailed feasibility study and budget analysis, before producing a consultative document for consideration by all interested bodies and seeking comments and recommendations to be included in a brief, for a series of working parties who will produce individual studies which will provide the background for a more wide ranging document, considering whether or not the proposal should be taken forward to the next stage.-You mean they"ll block it?-Yeah.-我是說他們(教育部)會慎重考慮並堅決對所有建議作出徹底和嚴格的審查，結合詳細的可行性研究和預算分析，擬定一份參考方案，遞交各有關部門，請他們作出評論和建議，匯總成一份簡報，送給一系列工作組分別獨立研究，基於其調查報告，起草一份更加包羅萬象的文件，據此判定，該建議是否能進入下一步驟。-你是說他們會封殺它。-是啊。-Well, anyway. Why are we bugging Hugh Halifax? Is he talking to the Russians?-No, the French actually. That"s much more serious.-Why?-The Russians already know what we are doing.-再說，我們竊聽哈里法克斯幹嘛？他和俄國私通嗎？-不，是和法國，這可嚴重多了。-為什麼？-俄國人早就對我們知根知底了。"Some people. But some people must wait where other people cannot see the people waiting. And people who arrive before other people must wait where they cannot see other people who arrive after them being admitted before them. And people from outside must wait where they cannot see the people from inside coming to tell you what the people from outside want to see you about. And people who arrive when you are with people they should not know you have seen must wait somewhere until the people who shouldn"t have seen you have seen you."
quoted from Sir Humphrey in episode 4 The Key of Yes, Prime Minister除了外交部，還有誰能知道他們要做什麼？克里姆林宮。
Q: Yes or no?A: Yes, and no.
A cynic is what an idealist calls a realist. 每次別人說我憤世的時候腦子裡都冒出這句。
「歷史就是無情對無腦的勝利。」
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
S02E02
沒記錯的話 這個印象比較深刻 they probably certainly know that you parobably wouldn"t,they don"t certainly know that although you probably wouldn"t,there"s no probability that you certainly would。
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