求幾個簡短的英語笑話?

12-31

類似與 a deer without eyes

When I drink alcohol,everyone says I"m an alcoholic.when I drink Fanta,no one says I"m fantastic

「 tell me a dirty joke"

" a boy falls into the mud....?"

從前有隻熊貓，去飯店點了幾個菜大快朵頤，然後開槍殺了幾個人就離開了。

後來警察問它為什麼要這樣，熊貓拿出字典：Panda:an animal,eats shoots and leaves

My father always told me, what doesn"t kill you makes you stronger, until the accident.

an Irish called British Airways: how long will it take to fly from Dublin to London?

BA: just one minute, please.

Irish: Thank you very much!!!

飛機上偶遇好朋友Jack，激動打招呼Hi,Jack。其他乘客恐厄地舉起了雙手。

(hijack有劫機、劫持的意思)

"hey, whose car, where are you going, where are you going to do?"

「Mine. . . . . . . 」

Mine 的意思有我的，礦場和開採的意思

一個關於川普的一句話dirty joke。略冷( ?° ?? ?°)

這是川普團隊的logo：

由T（Trump）, P（Pence）和星條旗結合而成：

Joke: The Supportive Wife

John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out.

John said, "I"m very sorry officer, I didn"t realize it was out, I"ll get it fixed right away."

Just then Jessica said, "I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed."

So the officer asked for John"s license and after looking at it said, "Sir your license has expired."

And again John apologized and mentioned that he didn"t realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning.

Jessica said, "I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired."

Well by this time, John is a bit upset with his wife contradicting him in front of the officer, and he said in a rather loud voice, "Jessica, shut your mouth!!"

The officer then leaned over toward Jessica and asked. "Does your husband always talk to you like that?"

"Not always," answers Jessica, "only when he"s drunk."

From WeChat: DailyEnglish001

The tomato family was walking in the street, the farther tomato the mother tomato and the baby tomato. The baby tomato was walking very slowly. So the father tomato said:"Ketchup！"

小心地滑

翻譯

slide carefully

one orange told another，

Are you hungry！

we are orange we can"t talk

Sex with three people is called threesome and sex with four people is called foursome. Now I finally understand why everybody calls me handsome...

你聽說過新的那本《反重力書》嗎？

顯然你不能把它「抓下來」。

Sherlock Holmes likes papa John"s.

Dwarf shortage.