我觉得中美高中文化差异可能可以归结为两点: 1. 老师的管理。中国的老师更倾向于micromanagement,对学生事务的干涉是比美国老师要厉害的。学生早恋请家长,拉着学生语重心长的长谈,在美国应该比较稀奇吧?更细致和广泛的介入使中学生之间的相处模式更远离原始的未被驯化的模式,而接近与被驯化的成人世界的模式。由于成人社会不倾向于使用暴力达成结果,对社会道德有更清晰的意识,这种改造使得bully趋于温和了。 答主说中国的bully不会差到哪去,其实还是有差的吧。至少美国高中生因bully自杀似乎屡见不鲜,中国好像少见些。 2. 老师的权力。亚裔文化比较尊师重道,学生服从老师被认作理所应当的事情。即使是叛逆的学生,很多心里也是认为“这么做是不对的事”。美国似乎不大一样。我看过一本讲种族意识在体育中的表现以及体育运动如何影响“男性气质”的书(而书名我已经悲惨地记不住了)。里面写美国白人推崇一种人猿泰山式的男性气概:我既可以套上西服做成功的商人,也可以戴上拳套把其他种族(比如黑人)打趴下。而这种“打趴下”的气质鼓励这样一种培养男性的方式:男性可以是不聪明,不sophisticated,不爱思考的。但男性一定得tough,不服从权威,年轻男性挑战权威的行为也得到默许和鼓励("It"s what boys do")。这种情境下老师作为权威得到的尊重也是有限的。而有限的尊重导致有限的权力,后者又决定了能采用的管理方式。可见1,2点其实是相似的。
(Thank you @胡小伦 for an awesome translation! http://zhi.hu/UqUt)
Unfortunately, in the K-12 school years, bullying is more common than you would think. First, an insult isn"t determined by what is said or done or the bully"s intention, but by how it makes the recipient feel. Sometimes it"s even the lack of words that hurts the most; being ignored, excluded and avoided is crushing to one"s self-esteem. If you feel insulted or hurt by someone, then you have a right to ask that person to stop the offending behavior. If that person persists, then that"s bullying.
It doesn"t matter specifically what"s said or done because people have different worldviews and different tolerances. People also change: some things that offended me when I was a kid are now jokes to me and some jokes I used to laugh at are now objectionable.
It"s a fine line between a raucous joke and a heinous insult.
Some common ways Asian Americans are bullied,
people say "Ching chong kang kua ji ji chong" (gibberish) and ask you what it means
people tell you to go back to China/Japan/Korea/Vietnam/etc
people call you "Chink" or "Jap"
people call you "Squinty eyes"; they take their fingers and stretch their eyelids sideways
people call you short, weak and unathletic
people call you four-eyes and brainiac
people spread rumors that you eat dogs and cats and animal genitalia
people ask to see you perform karate
And then there"s the standard methods that any child, regardless of ethnicity, could face at school; people push you, trip you, step on your shoes, knock your lunch onto the floor, draw on your notebooks, steal your pens and books. Outside of school, bullying can take of form of graffiti on your Facebook, Twitter, etc, or persistent insults and threats sent in text messages.
Bullying generally becomes less of a problem in college. The destructive power of bullying is compounded in the K-12 school years because students can"t escape the bullies at school. But there are so many people in college that usually the only people you see regularly are your friends, some of your classmates and some of the people in your residence hall. But in large lectures, hardly anybody knows anybody else"s name, so it"s hard for bullies to target anybody. If a roommate or somebody in your dorm is bothering you, then tell the Resident Assistant. Tell her or him about each incident and if the situation is severe enough, ask to transfer to a different room. Campuses usually have emergency housing for students facing extenuating circumstances.
Whoever popularized, "Stick and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me," was spreading a comforting lie. All forms of bullying hurt. Sometimes they hurt so much that they can manifest into physical illnesses.
When I was in school, I did my best to avoid being bullied by not reacting to their actions. I never fought back, but I cultivated an air of yeah-shrug-whatever. If bullying isn"t exciting for the bullies, usually they stop targeting you.
If you"re being bullied, don"t endure it alone, don"t blame everybody. Distinguish between your friends and your foes and tell your friends what"s bothering you. They"ll defend and help you fight (figuratively). It helps to know that despite what some strangers may say, these friends like you just the same. They still want to hang out with you, chat with you and laugh with you.
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EDIT: I"ve noticed that some people may have misunderstood the scope of this answer. I should clarify that this is not how most Asians students are treated in school. What I"ve described is some of the bullying behavior that is common if Asians students are bullied in America.
I also want to explain what I mean by, "bullying is more common than you would think." That"s actually a way of saying that bullying is more common than I would think. That"s because American parents and teachers treat bullying as a serious detriment to a student"s education. It"s not just a phase of growing up; it"s unacceptable behavior in school. As students, we were indoctrinated from an early age about the consequences of such behavior; the message was also reinforced outside of school - even in our Saturday morning cartoons.
That"s why I"m surprised that, growing up, I witnessed so much bullying despite how saturated we were in the ideologies of "Treat others as you would like to be treated," and "If you have nothing nice to say, don"t say anything at all." Perhaps the real lesson is that the American education system could look for more effective ways to teach children not to bully others.
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As always, if you have the courage and patience to translate this into Chinese, then go for it! =P
只有强大,才是真理,这是永远不变的真理!
我在中国读小学,初中,甚至高中的时候,学校里一直都有bully存在,从一般的欺负到抢钱甚至殴打都多次见过或者经历过。我能怪人种还是肤色?
蜘蛛侠告诉我们,校园恶霸是非常公平且不在意肤色的。
我在美国读书,研究生 按理说大学里面bully应该几乎没有了 前两天居然让我遇到一个。。。 那个我感冒,特别累,在图书馆看书 看到晚上鼻子很堵,所以去厕所擤鼻涕 有个男的在隔间里小便,我打了个喷嚏,他说bless u,我说thank u 然后洗手的时候他说u r so gay 我当时感冒+很累,所以压根没听清,说 sorry? 他又说了一遍,貌似这次用的fag 我还是没听清,说 say it again? 最后我把水龙头关上了,他来了个 u r so fag,边说还变用手往我脸上甩水 来这边这么久第一次遇到这种情况,当时也没反应过来,他直接就走了 后来给朋友说,他们的反应都是"bullies are so dumb."
和你上的学校有关系的。。。。
是的,不只是在美帝,但尤其是在美帝。
如果客观的讲,欺负人,尤其是学校中欺负异地人的习惯是普遍存在的,就拿中国来讲,许多学校都有欺负异地人的习惯,甚至歧视农村户口的学生,这就是家长的教育问题,加上无非是因为学校中总有那么几个爱现的人或者老大级别的人。只不过是看你在哪所学校的氛围(欺负人的氛围)。想想看在港台的一些大学里面还有歧视内地同学的习惯,总的说来,还是看那所学校的环境氛围怎样,学生素质怎样,你有经常听说哈福学生经常欺负亚裔同学的吗?当然我说的不够全面,也有不对的地方,但是的确美国学生欺负亚裔学生那是普遍现象,并且概率远在其他地区以上,这个这能说明,那里俗学生太多了,素质还跟不上。对不起表达能力不是特别好,仁者见仁。
自此,我又回想起了一些细节。这次bully至少是两个女孩一起策划的。我们屋对面也是一个美国女孩P,这两天我们都没怎么打招呼。但今天我抱着浴巾去浴室的时候P看到我,眼睛一闪,笑得很灿烂说,hi。我不知道为什么P突然这么热情,但没多想,以为她只是友好。但是在我敲门的很长的过程中,P就在走廊上,看着我敲,什么都没有问,每次看到我都会笑。在我抱着洗发露浴巾坐在公共区域的沙发上时,P又走过来,笑着说,have a good sleep。我说,thanks,you too。我是在发现室友一直在屋里之后才把这一切串起来。发现P的表现太不正常了。如果她真的友好,看到我敲门进不去应该confused,而且看见头发湿得还在滴水的我坐在公共区域的沙发上也应该疑惑,而不是说:have a good sleep。说明P对这一切的发生完全预先知道,而且她们的目的大概是让我没有地方睡。